January 18, 2009
The month of December coincides with an important time in regards to the rhythm of the liturgical year. The liturgical year concludes with the Feast of Christ the King, usually the last weekend in November, and the new year begins with the preparation for Christmas, with the four weeks of Advent. A preparation that is intended to help one become increasing aware of the meaning of the birth of Jesus Christ, the coming of God to the People of Israel in the form of a baby. During the four weeks of Advent, my awareness of the meaning of the words of the Angelus was significantly heightened. What a treat it is to come together as brothers seeking the path God has chosen for each of us, and be reminded of the coming of the Angel Gabriel to Mary. As well, that we are all here in Rome at the house of formation, because of this fact, that God decided to send his Son into the world through the assent of a young girl. That we have all been struck by this fact, this fact that touches all cultures and all times, a fact that unites people for a common work and a common life.
The month began with an Advent retreat at Vitorciano, a monastery for cloistered religious sisters, which is located about an hour outside of Rome. Don Massimo gave the reflection, and then we had time for silence before eating lunch. I was blessed to have been asked by my spiritual director to drive together to the retreat. We had a nice opportunity to get caught up about what I had been living and some of the difficulties I was having. I remember distinctly that I mentioned that I had a difficulty understanding the importance and meaning of the expectations we have and place on others, for instance the expectations I have for my spiritual director, for friends and for people that are authorities for me. I was struggling a little bit, because a friend and authoritative figure for me had come to Rome and it seemed like he had little time for me. I was a little disappointed, and confused trying to understand my past relationship with him, and what does this mean for ones expectation on another. History is real, and is never lost, all is taken up with Christ and nothing is ever lost, however, I learned that often to understand particular occurrences and events, they often require much time and prayer, and an openness to ask for understanding. Don Massimo highlighted that during this time of the year, Advent, he described as being paradoxical period since usually as one tries to become more aware of the presence and meaning of the Incarnation, one at the same time recognizes how far one is away from God, and our limited ability to give adequate praise and thanks for such an incredible fact. As the weeks progressed and Christmas became nearer, I experienced this very much. I remember thinking that I do not know how I ought to express my gratitude for such an incredible event, God becoming flesh, and being face to face with my limitations and sinfulness. At times, it was very difficult to stay in front of, however, through this I believe one is able to recognize one’s dependence and neediness, the need for a Savior, and Other, through whom all things are possible. Even the ability to cross the threshold of the chasm that exists between God and man. It is great to live with so many concrete witnesses who embody this reality, our common life together is where I am often nourished and made aware of this reality.
December was an eventful month, and very different since I was asked to stay and remain in Rome and not to return to Canada. This was difficult but very important for me to begin to understand the meaning of distance and separation, and at the same time how through distance and separation, God through the working of the Holy Spirit enables us to be together, and closely united. A mystery that one only learns through experience. Some of the highlights in point form include the following: 1) Great Books meeting on Plato’s Symposium, 2) Book launch and meeting with Marcello Pera for his book, where I introduced myself to Mary Ann Glendon, 3) Antonio Lopez’s visit to the house, lecture on the nature of technology, and catching up together, 4) Planting trees with don Jonah and other seminarians, 4) Preparing the Prasepe, nativity scene, 5) First Pranzo dell’anno, 6) My expressing the feeling of a new beginning in the house of formation, 7) The visit by Marcus and Cleuza from Brazil and leaders of the Landless Workers movement, 8) Going to see the documentary on the work of Padre Marko Rubnik and his Studio with Jonah, and meeting him afterward, 9) Il Coro Gospel, preparing for the Christmas party, 10) Christmas Party, 11) Writing Christmas cards, 12) the Experience of being in Rome for Christmas, Christmas Vigil at St. Peter’s Basilica, 13) Week of vacation on Lake Como, and visit to Milan, the meeting of Umberto’s family and friends, 14) Reading Michael O’Brien’s Sofia House, and Paul Claudel’ L’Annonce fait a Marie, Massimo Camisasca’s Questa Casa Dove Dio Abita, and Jean Danielou’s Le Missioni ai le Nazioni. I will have to write another short witness for the Christmas Vacation, in the coming days.
Pictures 1) Trees planted in December, 2) and 3) Pictures from Christmas Party 2008
1. At the beginning of the month, we had our monthly symposium on Plato’s Symposium, one notable quote off the back, In vino Vertitas. This was a nice gathering directed by our head of studies Konrad, and vice rector Jonah Lynch. They are both very encouraging of getting into the texts of the ancient philosophers, thus far we have read Plato’s Apologia and the Fedone along with Aristotle’s De Anima are for January. We usually meet after dinner in one of the two reading rooms, and the evening begins with a series of questions that they have prepared for us, followed by our own personal commentary and questions. The latter half of our meetings usually coincides with the drinking of wine, and the tasting of some treats. This was especially nice considering the nature of the text under analysis. We all giggled a little bit at this fact. Some of the guys brought wine and another brought some nice sliced meats. I am slowly becoming more comfortable at expressing my ideas, and my judgment on the text, and integrating it with the knowledge and experience of the JPII Institute and other readings. I drew upon a series of lectures Grygiel gave for a Master’s Class week, and a paper prepared by Margaret McCarthy. I enjoy reading in Italian, it forces me to be with the text for a much longer period of time, than if I had been reading it in English. It is particularly enjoyable to work on these classic texts together with the other guys, and listen to their questions and comments. It is a great common work where I feel I can bring and add something particular.
2. Near the beginning of the month (December 4th), I saw a notice on our bulletin board about the possibility of going to hear Marcello Pera speak on his new book, Perchè Dobbiamo Dirci Christiani. After the evening discussing the Symposium, I asked Jonah whether I could attend, and he suggested that I take the responsibility for the organization of the transportation to and from the event. I was quite happy and a little nervous, it would mean that I would have to put together a signup sheet in Italian, advertising the event and determine how many people were interested. After all that, there proved to be only three of us interested or available to attend. We decided the best thing to do, was remain at the Lateran University after classes, and proceed to the city center for the mid afternoon presentation. We arrived early and had time to walk around the old cobblestone streets and go for a coffee before the start. Lavelli, 3rd year student, took us to one of the best coffee shops in the city, and directed us on how to have our coffee’s. We each had cappuccino’s which was the café’s specialty. I enjoyed being with the older seminarians, and seeing how they took me under their wing for the afternoon. The room where the book presentation took place was jam packed, Pera being the former president of the Italian Senate and friend of Benedict XVI, attracted a large and diverse crowd. I remember seeing and introducing myself to Mary Ann Glendon, the current American Ambassador to the Vatican, and mentioning Joe Flannigan’s trip to Ingleside, and my dad’s attendance at the Lonergan conferences at Boston College. I think she was quite surprised with my upfront approach.
In his book, Pera talks about the roots of Liberalism, as illustrated by John Locke, Thomas Jefferson, and Immanuel Kant, and how their formulations of this political theory all have an underlying Christian concept of man and his human dignity, and a concept of freedom that is coherent with these Christian ideas. Pera outlines the development of Liberalism, and its separation from its historical and ethical foundation, and proposes a return to the Christian concept of man and of his freedom. Pera, who once advocated for the strict removal and eclipse of Christianity, seeing it as a hindrance and an obstacle for liberalism, has had a significant change of opinion, and his now advocating a new beginning or a fresh start to a new form of liberalism that begins again by looking at the Christian vision of the dignity of man and his freedom. His book is divided into three chapters, the first outlining the history and development of liberalism from its founders, and most recent interpretations by John Rawls, and Jurgen Habermas and Benedetto Croce. The second chapter highlights the crisis of Europe’s search for an identity in a post-Christian culture, and concludes with a chapter on public ethics, emphasizing the loss of the underlying Christian concept of man and his liberty that pervaded the culture has led to a progressive deteriorating sense of man, and consequently a dictatorship of relativism. During the panel presentation, Cardinal Ruini gave a splendid summary of the book, as well Pera mentioned how this book should be seen as the fruit of his friendship with the Holy Father. Afterward on the way home, Jonah asked me to go with him back to the Lateran where his car was parked, and we proceeded with an hour of silence, and discussion. I remember mentioning a thought I had during the meditation on the Miracle of Cana, that God’s gift of grace is always an unexpected abundant gift which brings man to the cross, and to resurrection. With a little help, I translated it and placed on my wall, it says “God’s expected abundant gift of grace brings man to the cross”. I pinned this quote on a poster don Massimo gave me, and have it hanging in my room. Upon arriving home, we prayed Mass, and called it a night. A little incident happened later that evening, where some of the guys were giving me a hard time, and I had to leave the room. I felt like they were mocking me for who I was, for my history, and for something that I cannot change about myself. Umbe, helped me out later in the evening, to better understand what had happened.
3. My former professor, friend and priest of the Fraternity Antonio Lopez came to Rome to teach a class at the John Paul II Institute near the end of November, and I was able to touch base with him and get caught up. Initially, I saw him just briefly for a couple of minutes after Mass, I remember being excited to show him my improvement in Italian, and how I have been slowly beginning to feel more at home at the house of Formation. I was a little bit upset that we were only given a few brief minutes together, but I was to see him in ten days time, when he came to the house to stay for a couple of days. Antonio gave a lecture on the nature of technology which created a lot of buzz, and controversy, and I remember afterward trying to stick up for him and the work of the Institute in my broken Italian. I was a little taken aback with the negative response. However, he fielded all the questions and gave a reasonable well argued position. It is always a tough argument, the questions of nature and communication, togetherness, unity and friendship and what the logic of technology imposes on these themes. A sense of possession and control and manipulation, and the impediment of a sense of gift, wonder and generosity. Antonio had a lot of meetings with the JPII Institute faculty and important meetings with don Massimo and the other superiors of the Fraternity regarding all the priests in North America and Mexico. Antonio is the responsible for the Fraternity for North America. I remember saying to myself that I wanted a little more of his time. That would come to be on Monday, December 8th, we got to go for a walk together for about an hour in the garden. I remember mentioning some of the things I was struggling with, the meaning of being away and being reborn within a new culture, the struggle with some of the relationships with the guys in first year, how some of them been very mean at times, and how it makes me feel that I am being mocked and crucified at home, the grandeur of man’s freedom to love or put Christ to death, and my dissatisfaction with the lack of ability to get enough players to play soccer, and other sports. Many of the positives including the new the eyes and heart that I believe Christ has given me during this time of formation, the culture of silence and the seriousness in front of my destiny and the work of school of community. My enjoyment of staying with the older seminarians and learning from them, from their experience and witness of following the path of the Fraternity. I enjoyed getting caught up with the how the priests of the Fraternity are doing in Montreal, Boston and Washington, that Pietro will begin studies at the Institute, Jose and Stefano with the school in Boston. As well as getting caught up with the Institute and its move to the heart of the CUA campus, and how the faculty and staff were mourning the death of Susan. It was great to hear the positive words Antonio directed in regards to my sister and other friends who are working on the PhD program, and the new Canadian students in the Masters program.
The advice that I will most cherish, is that he encouraged me to be patient and be myself and really seek if the life of the Fraternity is a help to live my relationship with Christ. Stay in front of this fact, and that this is what is most important, does this life enable me to live more freely and deepen my understanding of myself. After our talk together, Antonio mentioned what I had said to the other superiors, and responsibles for my formation and discernment. He highlighted the fact that the key is to seek your own freedom, continually ask and judge if this life is what enables you to live more freely and fully. Accept the many crosses, and face the problems when they arise, enter the common life as best as possible, learn the language and participate in the communal life as fully as possible. It is here where freedom lies, uncover what has yet to be seen and judge it accordingly. Later in the evening, Antonio came to visit me in my room, and mentioned what I had said to the superiors, and encouraged me very much in my pursuit of freedom and the life with the Fraternity. I remember the feeling of being very free in front of him, an openness that I have with a few people, and how he showed me his passion for my destiny, my life and freedom in front of God. I thanked him in a letter, expressing my gratitude for helping me to live more freely, for teaching how to be free in front of what I was living and to help judge it accordingly. This was the start of a new beginning for me, and a greater happiness living these days together at the house of formation. Much gratitude.
4. Earlier in the day, December 8th, the first year seminarians began the construction of the Prasepe, the nativity scene. We were helped by DiPietro, a sixth year seminarian, who actually took the lead with the planning and outline. This was a very special time together, working together for the better part of a day constructing the Prasepe. Making a Prasepe is a very important Advent Tradition for the Italian culture, and it was San Francesco who was the first to build a nativity almost eight hundred years ago. We began by digging out all the old boxes, and ornaments and statues from previous years, a total of close to 15 or 20 boxes. I was very surprised with the amount of little trinkets, but the Italians take this tradition very seriously. Right off the bat, a couple of guys ran to the equivalent of Canadian Tire, to pick up some lumber and other little gadgets. We needed to build the staging that would hold up the lights in the background and the sky. Upon arriving at the house, they quickly measured the dimensions and starting cutting the wood, I realized immediately that the way they were cutting the wood and hammering nails in the beams connecting them, there was no way that it was going to be straight and level. It was kind of funny seeing it go up and be completely crooked, I encouraged them to use the lines on the floor and a measuring stick and the crookedness was quickly straightened out. Probably something I learned while growing up at Meadowbank, and the many Saturday afternoons at Ingleside. One of the funny things was the many ideas being tossed around, and the teasing and laughing at each others’ silly ideas. Overall, we made three trips to three different stores, and spent close to two hundred euro’s on the project. We had to straighten a navy blue cloth that was approximately 50 feet long, and a couple of us ran to the laundry room and were going to use the traditional irons, later another arrived and mentioned we should use the rolling iron, used to iron the altar cloths and other important cloths. We got it warmed up and ran it through a couple of times and we were set with a freshly pressed blue sky. On one of the runs to the store, the guys came back with beers and chips for all of us, this was a nice treat, and helped to unite us in the project. One of the guys created a water fountain, and others created the appearance of hills and a bridge and so much more, the details were incredible. Everyone helped out and contributed to what turned out to be a beautiful project. We all enjoyed it for the next month, and only took it down with the beginning of the first week of Ordinary time. It was great seeing the crib every morning before going to school and coming in from praying the rosary in the park during silence, always thinking and being reminded of the Angelus and the prayers and Advent songs we would sing at Mass.
5. The week following my meeting with Antonio, the rector of the seminary decided to change when we have our weekly lunch together. All the first year students have lunch with the rector and vice rector once a week together, and due to my language lessons it was decided that I would miss the weekly meetings. However, this changed and I was able to participate in my first weekly lunch meeting together with all the guys and the rectors. The rector mentioned the importance of being open to other cultures and the awareness of the other seminarians who are from away, the need for them to be welcomed. The need for us to learn to be missionaries first at home during the time of formation, to welcome the other who is different, who has a different history and culture, to see this as a richness and an opportunity to grow and learn the meaning and purpose of the Fraternity today. Near the end of the meal, I wanted to thank Atta for his words and express that at times I felt that my history and culture were an obstacle for me being accepted and welcomed by some of the guys in the house. And how at the same time, many have made me feel at home and welcomed me graciously. This week for me was a new beginning, many of the guys who were giving me a hard time have stopped and are much more aware of my sensitivities. I feel as though an obstacle has been removed from my path, and can continue to enter into the experience of the fraternity and the common life together. It was great that this became a general theme for the next ten days to two weeks, we were all focused on the centrality and meaning of welcoming and being open to the other, seeing a richness in their difference.
6. The following morning, I remember being very grateful and mentioned to the Rector of the seminary that these past days had been like a new beginning for me. I was excited to share this with him over breakfast, that there was a new sense of liberation, and freedom in front of all the guys I am living with, and the common life together. As well, how this turned out to be not a small matter, but an integral one to our formation and life together, it is here where we ought to receive the best education, in the daily struggles we live together. My friend from Brazil, Ottavio, mentioned that he was very moved to hear me give this testimony. It is from each others’ testimonies that we receive the strength to hope for a new beginning, to meet Christ again, knowing that he is indeed meeting my brother. And to see the renewal in the life of my brother.
7. During the last week, of school, Jonah and I attended a documentary launch by Padre Marko Rubnik, and artist who makes Mosaics. The documentary was played at the Casa Cinema at the Villa Borghese park, near the city center, and close to Piazza’s del Popolo and Spagna. We arrived a little bit late due to the traffic, and we ended walking quite a ways, but showed up to catch the better part of the presentation. The documentary highlighted the work of Rubnik and the Centro Aletti, his collaborators, as well as the mission of the work itself, the underlying philosophy and theology that the center hopes to incarnate. It was very special, and eye opening, he mentioned the joy of listening to the rock, and hearing it cry out to be broken, to be used in the mosaics in order to bring man to the contemplation of the Mystery. This gave us both new insights into the nature of technology as a aid, as a tool to unlock the hiddeness of nature’s desire to reveal the mystery to man and man to himself (Hopefully not too much JPII language, GS 22). Afterward, we got to meet Padre Rubnik and spent a couple of minutes together. The fraternity is interested in having him come to the house of formation and create a series of mosaics for our chapel. Jonah has been in touch with him on a couple of occasions, and Rubnik invited us to attend the opening of the display of the mosaics dedicated to Padre Pio. Afterward, before going home, and recognizing that it was late and the traffic was probably blocked up, we purchased sandwiches and beers and ate near where the car was parked. I enjoyed this time together very much, being with Jonah, and sharing a common passion for Art and the Church, it is great to spend time together outside of the traditional environment of the house, I feel as though I am enabled to reveal more of myself and interests, and learn more about him. It is great to see that a friendship is forming, and am much more free with him.
8. The Gospel choir for the Christmas party was a little bit of a gong show. Lots of laughs, frustration and a new glimpse of childlikeness in my brothers. Well, the first notice of a potential Gospel choir was in early November, and I remember expressing interest and waiting for the first practice. I remember thinking this would be a new way to participate in the common life, and better get to know my brothers through singing. I was looking forward to it very much. We had our first practice for the Gospel choir four days prior to the Christmas Party, which would be on Friday, the 19th. This was a little bit frustrating, seeing that it seemed like we were trying to throw something together last minute. I can’t stand doing things last minute, but I guess that is the ways things go. We were planning to sing a couple of songs, one in English, one in an African dialect, and another in Italian, they turned out quite nice when we were to sing in front of the house and the missionary sisters. I enjoyed very much the practices together, seeing a newness in my brothers while singing, a childlikeness that I had not previously seen. I enjoyed at times, just looking at the others I was singing with and seeing their faces, their smiles and bodily language. It was great to be a part of this unity, some frustration with the practices, people not showing up on time, not having a precise direction for the practices, and changing ideas for music only days before the Christmas party. However, in the end everything came together nicely in the end.
9. The Christmas Party took place Friday evening after Mass. We had decorated the dining room, and some of the boys had prepared a really nice dinner, with many treats. I was really happy that Fred, the other American seminarian was able to attend, it has been at times awkward not knowing whether he will be back at the house of formation next year. We had a lovely meal, and I sat near my spiritual director, we all enjoyed the nice sliced meets and different types of wine, the different types of pasta, and the desert. We had fritzies afterward, and they were a blast, some very good laughs. The Gospel choir got to sing our three pieces, and all the first year guys were asked to sing a song with the missionary sisters. Afterward, many of the boys got out some liquor, and we sang many of the traditional songs of the movement and Italian culture that CL has adapted. I enjoyed this very much, seeing everyone sing together. At times, it was a little frustrating not knowing the words, and not being able to sing along, but that is part of the package.
No comments:
Post a Comment