"Bring to Everyone the Communion That Is Born From the Heart of Christ"
- Here is a translation of the address Benedict XVI delivered Saturday upon greeting the priests and seminarians of the Fraternity of St. Charles on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of the foundation of the community.
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Dear brothers and friends,
It is with real joy that I meet with you, priests and seminarians of the Fraternity of St. Charles, who have gathered here on the occasion of the 25th anniversary of its birth. I greet and thank the founder and superior general, Monsignor Massimo Camisasca, his council and all of you, relatives and friends who are part of the community’s circle. I greet in particular the Archbishop of the Mother of God of Moscow, Monsignor Paolo Pezzi, and Don Julián Carrón, president of the Fraternity of Communion and Liberation, which symbolically expresses the fruits and the roots of the work of the Fraternity of St. Charles. This moment brings back to my mind my long friendship with Monsignor Luigi Giussani and bears witness to his charisma.
On this occasion, I would like to respond to two questions that our meeting suggests: what is the place of the ordained priesthood in the life of the Church? What is the place of communal life in the priestly experience?
Your birth from the Communion and Liberation movement and your vital reference to the ecclesial experience that it represents, there is placed before our eyes a truth that was reaffirmed with particular clarity from the 18th century onward and that found a significant expression in the theology of Vatican II. I refer to the fact that the Christian priesthood is not an end in itself. It was willed by Christ in function of the birth and the life of the Church. Every priest can therefore say to the faithful: "Vobiscum christianus, pro vobis sacerdos" (With you I am a Christian. For you I am a priest.). The glory and joy of the priesthood is to serve Christ and his Mystical Body. It represents a very beautiful and singular vocation in the Church, which makes Christ present because it participates in the one and eternal priesthood of Christ. The presence of priestly vocations is a sure sign of the truth and the vitality of a Christian community. In fact God always calls, even to the priesthood; there is no true and fecund growth in the Church without an authentic priestly presence that sustains and nourishes it. So I am grateful to all those who dedicate their energies to the formation of priests and the reform of the priestly life.
Like all of the Church, in fact, the priesthood too must continually renew itself, rediscovering in the life of Jesus the most essential forms of its own being. The different possible roads of this renewal cannot forget some elements that must not be given up. Before all else a profound education in meditation and prayer, lived as a dialogue with the risen Lord present in his Church. In the second place a study of the of theology that permits an encounter with the Christian truths in the form of a synthesis linked to the life of the person and the community: only a sapiential outlook can see the value of the force that the faith possesses to illuminate life and the world, continually leading to Christ, Creator and Savior.
The Fraternity of St. Charles has underscored the value of communal life during the course of its brief but intense history. I too have spoken about it on various occasions before and after my call to the chair of Peter. "It is important for priests not to live off on their own somewhere, but to accompany one another in small communities, to support one another, and so to experience, and constantly realize afresh, their communion in service to Christ and in renunciation for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven" ("Light of the World," San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2010, p. 149). The pressing matters of this moment are before your eyes. I think, for example, of the lack of priests. Communal life is not first of all a strategy for responding to these needs. Nor is it, in itself, only a form of help in the face of the solitude and weakness of man. All of this may certainly be true but only if it is conceived and lived as a path for immersing oneself in the reality of communion. Communal life is in fact an expression of the gift of Christ that is the Church, and it is prefigured in the apostolic community from which the priesthood arose. What the priest in fact administers does not belong to him. He rather participates with his brothers in a sacramental gift that comes directly from Jesus.
Communal life thus expresses a help that Christ provides for our life, calling us, through the presence of brothers, to an ever more profound conformity to his person. Living with others means accepting the need of my own continual conversion and above all discovering the beauty of such a journey, the joy of humility, of penance, but also of conversation, of mutual forgiveness, of mutual support. "Ecce quam bonum et quam iucundum habitare fratres in unum" (Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity) (Psalm 133:1).
No one can assume the regenerative power of communal life without prayer, without looking to the experience and teaching of the saints -- in a particular way the Fathers of the Church -- without a sacramental life lived with fidelity. If we do not enter into the eternal dialogue of the Son with the Father in the Holy Spirit no authentic communal life is possible. It is necessary to be with Jesus so as to be able to be with others. This is the heart of our mission. In the company of Christ and of our brothers each priest can find the energy necessary to care for people, to provide for the spiritual and material needs that he meets, to teach always with new words, dictated by love, the eternal truth of the faith for which are contemporaries too thirst.
Dear brothers and friends, continue to go out to all the world to bring to everyone the communion that is born from the heart of Christ! May the experience of the Apostles with Jesus always be the light that illuminates your priestly life! Encouraging you to remain on the road that you have traced during these years, I gladly impart my blessing to all the priests and seminarians of the Fraternity of St. Charles, to the Missionaries of St. Charles, to their relatives and friends.
Showing posts with label Fraternity of San Carlo Borromeo. Show all posts
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Monday, February 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Witness for the Month of November
Testimony for October 2009
John Roderick
November 21st 2009
The month of October at the house of formation can best be described as a time of transition into the daily and weekly rhythm of the University year. September is a month primarily dedicated to getting one’s feet in regards to seminary life, whereas October is where the rubber hits the pavement. There is always a little nostalgia for the fall colours and smells, the concrete aspects of a Canadian fall in the maritime provinces, St. FX football and soccer, and the beginning of the NHL and NBA season. However, I am much more accustomed to being away from home, and wait until the middle of November to enjoy the changing of the seasons.
I was greatly helped during the month with the meditative reading of the Gospel of Luke during the daily hour of silent prayer. Immediately, I think of the parable of the virgins with their oil lamps. This has always been an important passage for those thinking of either the priesthood or religious life, but it took on new meaning for me during the month. I became particularly aware of the need for patient vigilance in my life, in front of the vocational path I have chosen, being in a new country, language and culture, and the desire of affirmation for the decision that I have freely made. The parable reveals the necessity of being patient, of being ready for the Lord to concretely come to us within the circumstances we are given, the country, culture and language. I have been brought to a new disposition in front of the given circumstances, one of asking and seeking out the Lord’s presence, looking to see His love for my life in the other seminarians and priests that have been given to me to guide to the fullness of the truth of my life.
I wonder a lot, at the life I have been given, the history that I have, the people I have met, the places I have been, the ups and downs that I have lived. What do all of these experiences mean, in light if what I am being asked to live as a seminarian seeking the full truth of the attraction to the Fraternity of St. Charles. Nothing is left out, and everything is taken up within one’s vocation. God asks us to use our reason and experience to understand the mysterious plan He has for our lives, as well, as to be patient as this plan unfolds concretely before us. The patience required when seeking the will of another is a real grace. I have learned, and often have to relearn this fact, that I don’t necessarily determine the times and places I choose to be struck by God’s presence. I cannot manipulate Him, and I cannot manipulate my heart. I can try to deny what has happened to my life, but it is not reasonable to do so.
In front of times of confusion and uncertainty, I am often drawn back to reflect on the story of the life I wrote as a project for all the seminarians entering their second year. God has promised so much, fulfilment and peace, and I am here in Rome because it is the most reasonable place to be, to believe that God will bring to fulfilment the mission He has begun in my life. I am staking my whole life, my whole person and story in this promise by God the Father, of a life full of His love and presence within the communion and friendship of the Fraternity. I can live these days, which are at times very difficult because of this promise, and how generous and loving He has been in my life. My relationship with Him transcends particular circumstances, that meaning my fulfilment does not depend on being at a particular place, or with a particular person, but the only answer to the mystery of my person and heart is the person of Jesus and how he chooses to make himself present to me. God is love, and love in part takes the form of eros, a passionate search and seeking out of the beloved, I trust that God does love me, and is seeking out his beloved, wanting to patiently seek the fullness of my heart for the plan he has for my life. God asks for the totality of our hearts, to follow and give of our selves completely to the plan, to the attractive presence he concretely reveals in our lives.
What follows is the description of some facts from the month of October, I do not intend to be overly exhaustive in the explanation and judgment, but my hope is that they are able to convey a glimpse of what I am living, and what God has asked me to fully embrace as one seeking His will for my life.
1. The beginning of the academic year at the Pontifical Lateran University, first day of classes were on Monday October 12th. This year, I began the second year of a two year program equivalent to a bachelor of arts in philosophy. This semester is much more difficult than those of the first year, since I am taking a full course, meaning that I have accepted no credits from my pervious philosophy courses at St. FX. The difference is very clear, since during the first year I had at least two less classes each semester. The first semester of the second year is supposed to be the most demanding. My classes are as follows: Political Ethics with M. Konrad from the Fraternity of St. Charles, 2) Natural Theology with Charles Morerod, who is a Dominican priest who serves on many important ecumenical dialogue committees for the Vatican, 3) Philosophy of Being with Mario Pangallo, a heavy taste of Aristotle’s Metaphysics and Thomas Aquinas re-reading of the tradition, 4) Modern Philosophy with Leonardo Messinese, who is a disciple of Gustavo Bontadini who proposes a new speculative reading of Modern Philosophy along with the interpretation of Martin Heidegger, 5) Nietzsche and nihilism with Antonio Cecchini, which is a seminar reading class, 6) Relativism and the thinking of Immanuel Kant, with Marcello Pera, which proposes how a reading of Kant’s critique of the scepticism of David Hume, in fact lays the groundwork for an even more pervasive form of relativism.
The school year has been progressing very well, much different from the first year of studies. It is nice to be more united and committed together as friends (boys in second year), those seminarians from the Fraternity. The difference is like black and white from a year ago, where often the guys would stay at the house and I would be the only one from that Fraternity in the first year classes. It is nice to be together, and makes getting up at six am to attend lectures much more easy. There is a greater seriousness, and a much more critical disposition in front of the material we are learning. We are learning to be able to judge and appropriate the various schools of thought. We often discuss the material together in the car on the way home, and there is much greater openness to dialoguing, and asking questions.
2. The first of three yearly meetings with don Massimo occurred Friday October 9th. Don Massimo decided that the best way to get to know the new seminarians and commit entirely to the formation of these men, is to have three annual meetings with each seminarian. I remember very well the meeting we had together, and the freedom I had to share what I lived during the first year of seminarian formation. I was very happy to tell him of the facts which have made it possible for me to come to Rome, the people I have been privileged to meet, and the newness that they have brought into my life. These are concrete facts, facts speak, being here in seminary is not the fruit of an idea detached from reality, the concreteness of daily life. But the complete opposite, I am in Rome because the idea was given birth to from certain concrete friendships, facts that I would be silly not to recognize, and the love and mercy that I have experienced within my family. I shared the importance of writing the story of my life, and how it helps me to re-centre my life when I have difficulties. How God has always been very faithful to me, and provided me with many wonderful blessings, friendships, and experiences, and how I am in Rome seeking the fulfilment of everything that I have been given. I shared the importance of the summer vacation with the priests of the fraternity, and my new responsibilities at the house. How through these experiences, I am hoping to deepen my understanding of the mission God has for my life.
3. Don Massimo’s emphasis on mission in light of Philippians 2: 6-11. What does it mean to understand mission in light of Christ’s obedient decision to embrace the Father’s will and become human, take on the human condition, embrace the flesh of fallen humanity. As missionary priests, and for myself being asked to embrace the otherness of my Italian brothers, and their country, language and culture, I must view the circumstances I am being asked to live as the beginning of my mission, to make space for the embrace of what is other, to be conformed to something that precedes me. All of these factors, being the path to the fulfilment of my participation in Christ’s redemptive embrace of the flesh of mankind. We are called to concretely make space for what is other, and embrace this otherness. This is not supposed to be an abstract idea, but the letting of oneself be impacted and affected by the otherness of the people given in one’s life. We are not supposed to be the sole decision makers of our destiny, and the people we have to live with, we are not like lego’s and decide solely by ourselves who we have to live, work, and worship with. We must ask for the gift to make space to welcome who is other, and accept the fact that if they have been given to me, there is probably a great deal I can learn from them. This is very humbling, and not very easy. However, it starts within our families, within the friendships that we already have, and slowly we learn to enter into this type of way of life. We better get used to it, since we will be spending eternity with one another, why not start learning to get a hang of it today.
4. Reading Jean Daniélou’s diary during his seminary formation has been a great help to understand what I am living, and what I am striving for. He was a very humble man considering the genius and capacity he had. His writings have been a testimony for me, a witness for the love of the Church and of the Scriptures, and the common life of his Jesuit formation. I don’t remember many facts immediately, but the witness his writings revealed were of a man deeply in love with the Church, and a great awareness of his own limitations and temptations. I have taken a real liking to his writings, and have read at least half a dozen of his books in the past couple of months. His reading of modern liberalism in France, and of many of the currents within the twentieth century thinking have helped me a lot in my comprehension of what the dominant beliefs the culture presents.
5. Preparation for the article on Music, Silence and Technology with Jonah Lynch. In late September Jonah asked me to help with the research and writing of an article for Communio. This has been a lovely experience since it has challenged me to better look at the way I listen to music, and especially to other people. What type of music do I listen to, when do I listen to music, and to seek the purpose of why I listen to music. What is the place of silence in music, what is a silent disposition in front of listening to music, how do we educate ourselves and others to be silent within our culture today, is this type of education even possible. What has the advent and boom of technology done to music, has this been good or are there limitations, the possibility to control and manipulate music, to pause music, to rewind and fast forward. What do we look for when we listen to music, do we look to be entertained, or to be distracted, or to forget what we are being asked to live. These are a lot of fundamental questions that require a lot of reflection on what I live. It is very easy to open up a can of worms too big. It has been a challenge to decide what to write, and what to and what not to say. There is a very interesting book by Josef Pieper on this theme, “Only the Lover sings”, which proposes a return to the playfulness of music, the playing of music as a pathway to recuperate the grandeur of entering into reflective contemplation of the drama of human experience. We have had many evenings of listening to music, and trying to understand this experience, as well, we have both began playing a bit more piano, and the fleshly character of having to be patient and practice to enter into something beautiful.
6. A meeting with artist Camilian Demetrescu, on the theme of the rebirth of the symbol. This was a very interesting meeting with a painter and friend of don Massimo. He showed many of his pieces, and explained a lot of the rich symbolism. The symbol is very important for a sacramental reading of creation and of the world around us. How do we understand the place and presence of God within the world today. The artist is reacting a little bit to Marxist ideology, which is a form of atheism which places it faith in economic progress and liberating the poor from the class based system, and seeks to eliminate the presence of God in the world. The presence of God in the world, in the concreteness of daily life is sucked out and placed into a vacuum. His paintings are pedagogical, hoping to educate or renew the meaning of symbols, and their intrinsic meaning. A series of his paintings were selected to be on display in the Vatican, where the Pope meets with guests.
7. Canadian Thanksgiving weekend at Parco Leonardo for Burger King and a movie. This was a little bit of surprise but the guys in second year of seminary decided to have a night out at the movies theatre. We left for the nearby theatre, and decided to go large and eat at Burger King for supper before preceding to the theatre to buy our tickets. I was not particularly thrilled to have a grilled chicken sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, however it was great to be together and make a night out. Before the movie we had time to bowl a string at a big ball bowling alley. Everyone was out to de-throne me, since last year I took the boys to school, lighting up the alley’s like my father during his university years. I was a little nervous that I would not perform up to par, but after being all square for the first six strings, I stepped up and took a commanding lead, and rode into the sunset with the victory. There was still time remaining and we decided to play a couple of cards of bingo, Umberto took the lead since he was the most familiar with the bingo scene. We had fun, and thank goodness we only played for close to twenty minutes. We watched a Sicilian film which was extremely difficult to follow, with the language and with the setting of the movie being told through three generations and the difficulties with communism in Italy. I left a little dissatisfied because I did not understand much of the film, and I was very tired. We arrived home close to one in the morning with classes the next day, however, I was pleased that we spent the time together.
8. Meeting with don Massimo on the meaning of the priesthood, and the year’s lessons dedicated to his new book on the priesthood for the year dedicated to the renewal of the priesthood. Don Massimo highlighted the importance of the fact that a priest is and remains a sinner throughout his life and ministry. Jesus changed the meaning of the priesthood, from that of the Hebrew people, where the priest was isolated and able to enter the Holy of Holies to offer sacrifices for the sins of the people, a type of priesthood defined primarily by his relationship to the sacred and the temple. Christ inaugurates a newness, the Church first began its prayers in the synagogue and then moved to people’s homes, and later into the first Churches. The place of prayer and worship is no longer strictly linked to the temple, but to the world. The temple was considered the place of purity and the world of impurity. With Christianity, the temple and the world are the place of purity. The priest, in all of his humanity and sinfulness, is introduced into the priesthood of Jesus, and is asked to partake in it with all of himself, with all his limitations and weaknesses. It is through this manifestation of God’s love and power through the fragile character of the priest, that characterizes the grandeur of the new priesthood. The priest is called to sanctify the world, to be sent towards people and the world, in order to bring them and these places into Christ’s relationship with the Father. The priest is a bridge between heaven and earth, with the power given to him by God himself through the Church, in order to serve God’s people, to be an instrument of God’s love and presence in the world. As Christ descended from heaven and took the form of flesh, the priest in the same way is sent, into the depths of peoples and families lives, to make Christ present and to bring these relationships and the world into the loving communion between the Father and the Son. Priests are normal people, with an incredible mission, a mission that we don’t determine for ourselves, but one that is determined prior to us, and one that we must conform to, a priesthood that is already given, that of Jesus’ as determined by the Church. Every aspect of our life is now determined by another, the complete and gradual conformation to the person of another, the participation in the redemptive mission of the Son. Without the humble obedience to the form of priesthood revealed by Jesus, there is no priesthood but merely our creative imagination of what we think the priesthood should be. Without the guidance of an authority, the priesthood is not a participation in Jesus’ filial relationship to the Father, but a mere profession.
9. The Art Exhibition Il Potere e la Gloria (The Power and the Glory), on Saturday October 17th and dinner afterward at a restaurant nearby to the house of formation. This evening was very special since we got to see a lovely exhibit that told the story of Europe through the stories of various saints and their relationships with the civil powers of the time. What I was most struck by is the concreteness of the presence of the Church in the world, beginning with the martyrs, followed by the desert fathers, the birth of monasticism, and various other saints throughout the story of the Church. The Church was never, and is not isolated from the world, but always in relation to it. This is not to be understood as the Church being reactionary to the world, but meaning that God raises up saints and various communities and ways of living Christianity according to the needs of the world. God is present in history, and is best manifested in the lives of the Saints who embody most fully what it means to be Christian. The best way to become familiar with the history of the Church and of the world, is to read and become familiar with the lives of the saints. God and the Church do not exist in a vacuum but are really at the heart of the world. These were depicted in close to 200 pieces of art, ranging from stained glass windows, sculptures, paintings and movies, which tell the story, not just of the Church but of the world where the Church is incarnate. While in the car, I recommended that we listen to a couple of the CD’s I brought with me from home, and we listened to Joel Plaskett and Jill Barber. A taste of maritime music for my brothers to embrace. Afterward at the restaurant, we all had pizza and really nice appetizers, and beers. We each gave a personal judgment and reading of what we experienced during the exhibition, it was nice to have Inve and Konrad with us, two of our superiors who are very knowledgeable, to help understand certain pieces of artwork. Inve also knew the owner of the restaurant, and somehow organized a sweet deal of a price.
10. Meeting Mother Cristiana fro Vittorchiano, Sunday October 18th. We met with the missionary sisters of St. Charles at Vittorchiano for a meeting with one of the former Mother superiors of the community. She is a friend of don Massimo, and they have known each other since before he was ordained. Don Massimo described her as being a modern day, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, since she was responsible for a major renewal in the cloistered community, and having opened at least five new monasteries for women around the world. She was one of the first students don Giussani had sent to the Vittorchiano monastery following the completion of university. She shared about her experience living and being responsible for the formation of young women thinking of dedicating their lives to prayer and sacrifice for the Church. What I was most struck about her presentation was the way she described friendship within the monastery. When she first arrived there was at least 50 or 100 different type of hand signals to share and communicate amongst themselves. Through this she learned the grandeur of language, and to communicate only that which is essential. When we are silent, we are much more disposed to be spoken to, and for the Beloved to come and meet us. She talked about the importance of authority in the monastery, and how this is only possible if one trusts in God. We can follow and be obedient to another if we fully trust that God will be present and manifest himself through the authorities we have been given. As well, to trust in God who is the source of all true authority. Following the war, there was a lack of stability and uncertainty in the world, and from this environment many women sought the security and clarity of a vocation to virginity within the monastery. An interesting insight into the nature of friendship, she mentioned the awareness that in community we each belong to one another, as the communion of Saints in a certain way, we somehow belong to the whole Church, this means that no one remains a stranger. Moreover there is an intrinsic and persistent suffering required to open one’s self and make space for another, that friendship takes on this form and that real friendship is very risky, because it means accepting the fact that I am going to be determined and defined by another. Friendship is the death of one’s self, only to be opened and regenerated by another.
11. Beethoven Concert Solemn Mass at the Olympic Park. A group of us from the fraternity purchased tickets to attend a symphony performance of Beethoven’s Solemn Mass. This is the second concert I have attended in Rome. This was a lot of fun, for all the boys got dressed and cleaned up, for a night at the concert hall. The week previous Jonah gave a brief presentation of the various parts of the Mass, that he was most struck by. I had an interesting experience at the theatre since I was sitting beside what appeared to be two conductors and their wives. Each of them had a book almost the size of a textbook, which contained the entire seven parts of the Mass. Throughout the playing, they would be flipping back and forth. At first, I was more fascinated with them, than the music and choir. I have begun Latin at the house, and am familiar with the Latin Mass which we celebrate every Saturday morning at the house of formation, this made it much more possible for it to be a prayerful experience. I must confess that I got lost during the Credo, but overall was able to enter into a prayerful spirit.
12. Cribbage with Jonah, and seeking permission to return to Canada for the Christmas vacation. On Friday October 23rd Jonah and I got together for a night of crib and to discuss the article we are working on together. We were both pretty tired that evening, so we decided to concentrate primarily on the cribbage. I had the hot hand that evening, and won the best of three 2-0. We talked about how grateful we both are, that we have been given this friendship together, that we can be more free together, through playing cribbage and speaking in English. Near the end of the evening, I wanted to ask him about the possibility of returning to Canada for Christmas vacation. And at a certain point, I said to myself, if I cannot ask to come home for Christmas, if I don’t feel free to make this proposal, what in the world am I doing here. When all was said and done, Jonah thought it would be a good idea for me to return to Canada for the Christmas vacation. As well, he asked me to think about the possibility of organizing a meeting with don Massimo, on the meaning and importance of these trips home for foreign seminarians. This is very interesting, since we must freely make this decision, to be apart of a missionary community, meaning to make the fraternity the new defining factor in our lives. This can only be learned through distance, and time with the family. Don Massimo and the Fraternity want us to be free, to be at home within the fraternity, and that means to be able to make the free and full decision, to live the distance from our loved ones. This is not an abandonment of our families, but a new appropriation of our lives, and accepting the sacrifice as a response to the love of God, which calls us to freely embrace this decision. I was a little excited after getting the green light, and phoned home immediately and wished my parents happy wedding anniversary, and let them know that their gift would be my presence at Christmas time. And hopefully the chance to shovel some snow.
13. The Mass at the Lateran Basilica to inaugurate the academic year for the Lateran University, and the inviting of Suzanne Ridler to attend and for lunch afterward at the UN Food and Agriculture Organization, Wednesday October 28th. Early in the month of October, I received an email from Suzanne Ridler letting me know that she and her husband would be in Rome for the month of October, and the request to get together for a meal or walk in the city. Following a couple of emails, the best idea was to meet together for Mass at the Lateran Basilica for the inaugurating Mass for the academic year, and afterward go for lunch and a walk in the city. My parents have told me many a times, that they have been good guides and know the city very well. During the Mass I looked for Suzanne, and was pretty sure that we were sitting only couple of aisles apart, and during communion I was certain it was her. We met after the Mass in front of the façade of the Basilica. After an initial greeting, we went to meet Neil at the World Food and Agriculture Organization, part of the United Stations. After signing in, and a brief tour we all had lunch together on the rooftop cafeteria-restaurant. It was a lot of fun, eating outside with a great view of the Eternal City, we had a lovely discussion of what is Communion and Liberation and the Fraternity of St. Charles, as well, of my experience living and discerning my vocation. It was treat to just be together, to learn a little bit of their story, how they met and of their many travels. Afterward, Suzanne and I went for a little walk to visit the gardens of a religious community, we ended up at the Church of Sts. John and Peter, where the founder of the Passionists is buried, as well, we got to see where the Missionary of Charities have their Convent. We stumbled upon another garden, which funny enough was in the backyard of the Fraternity’s parish near St. John Lateran Basilica. I enjoyed telling and showing the community’s parish. Afterward we continued to walk together, and we went to their apartment for tea and cookies. Funny enough, Suzanne had planned to meet another seminarian later in the afternoon, and we were blessed to be all together for close to an hour. A fellow from Nigernia, who studies at the Santa Croce University. We all tried to speak in French, but I was at a loss for words. I was very blessed by this time together, and learning that Rhoda Ann Flood is a good friend of Suzanne, and that Fr. Paul Leblanc seemed to have a miraculous healing.
14. Reading for the month included The Risk of Education, the book of Job, Genesis and the Gospel of Luke, as well as Descartes Discourse on Method and his Meditations, and Pascal’s Pensées.
John Roderick
November 21st 2009
The month of October at the house of formation can best be described as a time of transition into the daily and weekly rhythm of the University year. September is a month primarily dedicated to getting one’s feet in regards to seminary life, whereas October is where the rubber hits the pavement. There is always a little nostalgia for the fall colours and smells, the concrete aspects of a Canadian fall in the maritime provinces, St. FX football and soccer, and the beginning of the NHL and NBA season. However, I am much more accustomed to being away from home, and wait until the middle of November to enjoy the changing of the seasons.
I was greatly helped during the month with the meditative reading of the Gospel of Luke during the daily hour of silent prayer. Immediately, I think of the parable of the virgins with their oil lamps. This has always been an important passage for those thinking of either the priesthood or religious life, but it took on new meaning for me during the month. I became particularly aware of the need for patient vigilance in my life, in front of the vocational path I have chosen, being in a new country, language and culture, and the desire of affirmation for the decision that I have freely made. The parable reveals the necessity of being patient, of being ready for the Lord to concretely come to us within the circumstances we are given, the country, culture and language. I have been brought to a new disposition in front of the given circumstances, one of asking and seeking out the Lord’s presence, looking to see His love for my life in the other seminarians and priests that have been given to me to guide to the fullness of the truth of my life.
I wonder a lot, at the life I have been given, the history that I have, the people I have met, the places I have been, the ups and downs that I have lived. What do all of these experiences mean, in light if what I am being asked to live as a seminarian seeking the full truth of the attraction to the Fraternity of St. Charles. Nothing is left out, and everything is taken up within one’s vocation. God asks us to use our reason and experience to understand the mysterious plan He has for our lives, as well, as to be patient as this plan unfolds concretely before us. The patience required when seeking the will of another is a real grace. I have learned, and often have to relearn this fact, that I don’t necessarily determine the times and places I choose to be struck by God’s presence. I cannot manipulate Him, and I cannot manipulate my heart. I can try to deny what has happened to my life, but it is not reasonable to do so.
In front of times of confusion and uncertainty, I am often drawn back to reflect on the story of the life I wrote as a project for all the seminarians entering their second year. God has promised so much, fulfilment and peace, and I am here in Rome because it is the most reasonable place to be, to believe that God will bring to fulfilment the mission He has begun in my life. I am staking my whole life, my whole person and story in this promise by God the Father, of a life full of His love and presence within the communion and friendship of the Fraternity. I can live these days, which are at times very difficult because of this promise, and how generous and loving He has been in my life. My relationship with Him transcends particular circumstances, that meaning my fulfilment does not depend on being at a particular place, or with a particular person, but the only answer to the mystery of my person and heart is the person of Jesus and how he chooses to make himself present to me. God is love, and love in part takes the form of eros, a passionate search and seeking out of the beloved, I trust that God does love me, and is seeking out his beloved, wanting to patiently seek the fullness of my heart for the plan he has for my life. God asks for the totality of our hearts, to follow and give of our selves completely to the plan, to the attractive presence he concretely reveals in our lives.
What follows is the description of some facts from the month of October, I do not intend to be overly exhaustive in the explanation and judgment, but my hope is that they are able to convey a glimpse of what I am living, and what God has asked me to fully embrace as one seeking His will for my life.
1. The beginning of the academic year at the Pontifical Lateran University, first day of classes were on Monday October 12th. This year, I began the second year of a two year program equivalent to a bachelor of arts in philosophy. This semester is much more difficult than those of the first year, since I am taking a full course, meaning that I have accepted no credits from my pervious philosophy courses at St. FX. The difference is very clear, since during the first year I had at least two less classes each semester. The first semester of the second year is supposed to be the most demanding. My classes are as follows: Political Ethics with M. Konrad from the Fraternity of St. Charles, 2) Natural Theology with Charles Morerod, who is a Dominican priest who serves on many important ecumenical dialogue committees for the Vatican, 3) Philosophy of Being with Mario Pangallo, a heavy taste of Aristotle’s Metaphysics and Thomas Aquinas re-reading of the tradition, 4) Modern Philosophy with Leonardo Messinese, who is a disciple of Gustavo Bontadini who proposes a new speculative reading of Modern Philosophy along with the interpretation of Martin Heidegger, 5) Nietzsche and nihilism with Antonio Cecchini, which is a seminar reading class, 6) Relativism and the thinking of Immanuel Kant, with Marcello Pera, which proposes how a reading of Kant’s critique of the scepticism of David Hume, in fact lays the groundwork for an even more pervasive form of relativism.
The school year has been progressing very well, much different from the first year of studies. It is nice to be more united and committed together as friends (boys in second year), those seminarians from the Fraternity. The difference is like black and white from a year ago, where often the guys would stay at the house and I would be the only one from that Fraternity in the first year classes. It is nice to be together, and makes getting up at six am to attend lectures much more easy. There is a greater seriousness, and a much more critical disposition in front of the material we are learning. We are learning to be able to judge and appropriate the various schools of thought. We often discuss the material together in the car on the way home, and there is much greater openness to dialoguing, and asking questions.
2. The first of three yearly meetings with don Massimo occurred Friday October 9th. Don Massimo decided that the best way to get to know the new seminarians and commit entirely to the formation of these men, is to have three annual meetings with each seminarian. I remember very well the meeting we had together, and the freedom I had to share what I lived during the first year of seminarian formation. I was very happy to tell him of the facts which have made it possible for me to come to Rome, the people I have been privileged to meet, and the newness that they have brought into my life. These are concrete facts, facts speak, being here in seminary is not the fruit of an idea detached from reality, the concreteness of daily life. But the complete opposite, I am in Rome because the idea was given birth to from certain concrete friendships, facts that I would be silly not to recognize, and the love and mercy that I have experienced within my family. I shared the importance of writing the story of my life, and how it helps me to re-centre my life when I have difficulties. How God has always been very faithful to me, and provided me with many wonderful blessings, friendships, and experiences, and how I am in Rome seeking the fulfilment of everything that I have been given. I shared the importance of the summer vacation with the priests of the fraternity, and my new responsibilities at the house. How through these experiences, I am hoping to deepen my understanding of the mission God has for my life.
3. Don Massimo’s emphasis on mission in light of Philippians 2: 6-11. What does it mean to understand mission in light of Christ’s obedient decision to embrace the Father’s will and become human, take on the human condition, embrace the flesh of fallen humanity. As missionary priests, and for myself being asked to embrace the otherness of my Italian brothers, and their country, language and culture, I must view the circumstances I am being asked to live as the beginning of my mission, to make space for the embrace of what is other, to be conformed to something that precedes me. All of these factors, being the path to the fulfilment of my participation in Christ’s redemptive embrace of the flesh of mankind. We are called to concretely make space for what is other, and embrace this otherness. This is not supposed to be an abstract idea, but the letting of oneself be impacted and affected by the otherness of the people given in one’s life. We are not supposed to be the sole decision makers of our destiny, and the people we have to live with, we are not like lego’s and decide solely by ourselves who we have to live, work, and worship with. We must ask for the gift to make space to welcome who is other, and accept the fact that if they have been given to me, there is probably a great deal I can learn from them. This is very humbling, and not very easy. However, it starts within our families, within the friendships that we already have, and slowly we learn to enter into this type of way of life. We better get used to it, since we will be spending eternity with one another, why not start learning to get a hang of it today.
4. Reading Jean Daniélou’s diary during his seminary formation has been a great help to understand what I am living, and what I am striving for. He was a very humble man considering the genius and capacity he had. His writings have been a testimony for me, a witness for the love of the Church and of the Scriptures, and the common life of his Jesuit formation. I don’t remember many facts immediately, but the witness his writings revealed were of a man deeply in love with the Church, and a great awareness of his own limitations and temptations. I have taken a real liking to his writings, and have read at least half a dozen of his books in the past couple of months. His reading of modern liberalism in France, and of many of the currents within the twentieth century thinking have helped me a lot in my comprehension of what the dominant beliefs the culture presents.
5. Preparation for the article on Music, Silence and Technology with Jonah Lynch. In late September Jonah asked me to help with the research and writing of an article for Communio. This has been a lovely experience since it has challenged me to better look at the way I listen to music, and especially to other people. What type of music do I listen to, when do I listen to music, and to seek the purpose of why I listen to music. What is the place of silence in music, what is a silent disposition in front of listening to music, how do we educate ourselves and others to be silent within our culture today, is this type of education even possible. What has the advent and boom of technology done to music, has this been good or are there limitations, the possibility to control and manipulate music, to pause music, to rewind and fast forward. What do we look for when we listen to music, do we look to be entertained, or to be distracted, or to forget what we are being asked to live. These are a lot of fundamental questions that require a lot of reflection on what I live. It is very easy to open up a can of worms too big. It has been a challenge to decide what to write, and what to and what not to say. There is a very interesting book by Josef Pieper on this theme, “Only the Lover sings”, which proposes a return to the playfulness of music, the playing of music as a pathway to recuperate the grandeur of entering into reflective contemplation of the drama of human experience. We have had many evenings of listening to music, and trying to understand this experience, as well, we have both began playing a bit more piano, and the fleshly character of having to be patient and practice to enter into something beautiful.
6. A meeting with artist Camilian Demetrescu, on the theme of the rebirth of the symbol. This was a very interesting meeting with a painter and friend of don Massimo. He showed many of his pieces, and explained a lot of the rich symbolism. The symbol is very important for a sacramental reading of creation and of the world around us. How do we understand the place and presence of God within the world today. The artist is reacting a little bit to Marxist ideology, which is a form of atheism which places it faith in economic progress and liberating the poor from the class based system, and seeks to eliminate the presence of God in the world. The presence of God in the world, in the concreteness of daily life is sucked out and placed into a vacuum. His paintings are pedagogical, hoping to educate or renew the meaning of symbols, and their intrinsic meaning. A series of his paintings were selected to be on display in the Vatican, where the Pope meets with guests.
7. Canadian Thanksgiving weekend at Parco Leonardo for Burger King and a movie. This was a little bit of surprise but the guys in second year of seminary decided to have a night out at the movies theatre. We left for the nearby theatre, and decided to go large and eat at Burger King for supper before preceding to the theatre to buy our tickets. I was not particularly thrilled to have a grilled chicken sandwich for Thanksgiving dinner, however it was great to be together and make a night out. Before the movie we had time to bowl a string at a big ball bowling alley. Everyone was out to de-throne me, since last year I took the boys to school, lighting up the alley’s like my father during his university years. I was a little nervous that I would not perform up to par, but after being all square for the first six strings, I stepped up and took a commanding lead, and rode into the sunset with the victory. There was still time remaining and we decided to play a couple of cards of bingo, Umberto took the lead since he was the most familiar with the bingo scene. We had fun, and thank goodness we only played for close to twenty minutes. We watched a Sicilian film which was extremely difficult to follow, with the language and with the setting of the movie being told through three generations and the difficulties with communism in Italy. I left a little dissatisfied because I did not understand much of the film, and I was very tired. We arrived home close to one in the morning with classes the next day, however, I was pleased that we spent the time together.
8. Meeting with don Massimo on the meaning of the priesthood, and the year’s lessons dedicated to his new book on the priesthood for the year dedicated to the renewal of the priesthood. Don Massimo highlighted the importance of the fact that a priest is and remains a sinner throughout his life and ministry. Jesus changed the meaning of the priesthood, from that of the Hebrew people, where the priest was isolated and able to enter the Holy of Holies to offer sacrifices for the sins of the people, a type of priesthood defined primarily by his relationship to the sacred and the temple. Christ inaugurates a newness, the Church first began its prayers in the synagogue and then moved to people’s homes, and later into the first Churches. The place of prayer and worship is no longer strictly linked to the temple, but to the world. The temple was considered the place of purity and the world of impurity. With Christianity, the temple and the world are the place of purity. The priest, in all of his humanity and sinfulness, is introduced into the priesthood of Jesus, and is asked to partake in it with all of himself, with all his limitations and weaknesses. It is through this manifestation of God’s love and power through the fragile character of the priest, that characterizes the grandeur of the new priesthood. The priest is called to sanctify the world, to be sent towards people and the world, in order to bring them and these places into Christ’s relationship with the Father. The priest is a bridge between heaven and earth, with the power given to him by God himself through the Church, in order to serve God’s people, to be an instrument of God’s love and presence in the world. As Christ descended from heaven and took the form of flesh, the priest in the same way is sent, into the depths of peoples and families lives, to make Christ present and to bring these relationships and the world into the loving communion between the Father and the Son. Priests are normal people, with an incredible mission, a mission that we don’t determine for ourselves, but one that is determined prior to us, and one that we must conform to, a priesthood that is already given, that of Jesus’ as determined by the Church. Every aspect of our life is now determined by another, the complete and gradual conformation to the person of another, the participation in the redemptive mission of the Son. Without the humble obedience to the form of priesthood revealed by Jesus, there is no priesthood but merely our creative imagination of what we think the priesthood should be. Without the guidance of an authority, the priesthood is not a participation in Jesus’ filial relationship to the Father, but a mere profession.
9. The Art Exhibition Il Potere e la Gloria (The Power and the Glory), on Saturday October 17th and dinner afterward at a restaurant nearby to the house of formation. This evening was very special since we got to see a lovely exhibit that told the story of Europe through the stories of various saints and their relationships with the civil powers of the time. What I was most struck by is the concreteness of the presence of the Church in the world, beginning with the martyrs, followed by the desert fathers, the birth of monasticism, and various other saints throughout the story of the Church. The Church was never, and is not isolated from the world, but always in relation to it. This is not to be understood as the Church being reactionary to the world, but meaning that God raises up saints and various communities and ways of living Christianity according to the needs of the world. God is present in history, and is best manifested in the lives of the Saints who embody most fully what it means to be Christian. The best way to become familiar with the history of the Church and of the world, is to read and become familiar with the lives of the saints. God and the Church do not exist in a vacuum but are really at the heart of the world. These were depicted in close to 200 pieces of art, ranging from stained glass windows, sculptures, paintings and movies, which tell the story, not just of the Church but of the world where the Church is incarnate. While in the car, I recommended that we listen to a couple of the CD’s I brought with me from home, and we listened to Joel Plaskett and Jill Barber. A taste of maritime music for my brothers to embrace. Afterward at the restaurant, we all had pizza and really nice appetizers, and beers. We each gave a personal judgment and reading of what we experienced during the exhibition, it was nice to have Inve and Konrad with us, two of our superiors who are very knowledgeable, to help understand certain pieces of artwork. Inve also knew the owner of the restaurant, and somehow organized a sweet deal of a price.
10. Meeting Mother Cristiana fro Vittorchiano, Sunday October 18th. We met with the missionary sisters of St. Charles at Vittorchiano for a meeting with one of the former Mother superiors of the community. She is a friend of don Massimo, and they have known each other since before he was ordained. Don Massimo described her as being a modern day, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, since she was responsible for a major renewal in the cloistered community, and having opened at least five new monasteries for women around the world. She was one of the first students don Giussani had sent to the Vittorchiano monastery following the completion of university. She shared about her experience living and being responsible for the formation of young women thinking of dedicating their lives to prayer and sacrifice for the Church. What I was most struck about her presentation was the way she described friendship within the monastery. When she first arrived there was at least 50 or 100 different type of hand signals to share and communicate amongst themselves. Through this she learned the grandeur of language, and to communicate only that which is essential. When we are silent, we are much more disposed to be spoken to, and for the Beloved to come and meet us. She talked about the importance of authority in the monastery, and how this is only possible if one trusts in God. We can follow and be obedient to another if we fully trust that God will be present and manifest himself through the authorities we have been given. As well, to trust in God who is the source of all true authority. Following the war, there was a lack of stability and uncertainty in the world, and from this environment many women sought the security and clarity of a vocation to virginity within the monastery. An interesting insight into the nature of friendship, she mentioned the awareness that in community we each belong to one another, as the communion of Saints in a certain way, we somehow belong to the whole Church, this means that no one remains a stranger. Moreover there is an intrinsic and persistent suffering required to open one’s self and make space for another, that friendship takes on this form and that real friendship is very risky, because it means accepting the fact that I am going to be determined and defined by another. Friendship is the death of one’s self, only to be opened and regenerated by another.
11. Beethoven Concert Solemn Mass at the Olympic Park. A group of us from the fraternity purchased tickets to attend a symphony performance of Beethoven’s Solemn Mass. This is the second concert I have attended in Rome. This was a lot of fun, for all the boys got dressed and cleaned up, for a night at the concert hall. The week previous Jonah gave a brief presentation of the various parts of the Mass, that he was most struck by. I had an interesting experience at the theatre since I was sitting beside what appeared to be two conductors and their wives. Each of them had a book almost the size of a textbook, which contained the entire seven parts of the Mass. Throughout the playing, they would be flipping back and forth. At first, I was more fascinated with them, than the music and choir. I have begun Latin at the house, and am familiar with the Latin Mass which we celebrate every Saturday morning at the house of formation, this made it much more possible for it to be a prayerful experience. I must confess that I got lost during the Credo, but overall was able to enter into a prayerful spirit.
12. Cribbage with Jonah, and seeking permission to return to Canada for the Christmas vacation. On Friday October 23rd Jonah and I got together for a night of crib and to discuss the article we are working on together. We were both pretty tired that evening, so we decided to concentrate primarily on the cribbage. I had the hot hand that evening, and won the best of three 2-0. We talked about how grateful we both are, that we have been given this friendship together, that we can be more free together, through playing cribbage and speaking in English. Near the end of the evening, I wanted to ask him about the possibility of returning to Canada for Christmas vacation. And at a certain point, I said to myself, if I cannot ask to come home for Christmas, if I don’t feel free to make this proposal, what in the world am I doing here. When all was said and done, Jonah thought it would be a good idea for me to return to Canada for the Christmas vacation. As well, he asked me to think about the possibility of organizing a meeting with don Massimo, on the meaning and importance of these trips home for foreign seminarians. This is very interesting, since we must freely make this decision, to be apart of a missionary community, meaning to make the fraternity the new defining factor in our lives. This can only be learned through distance, and time with the family. Don Massimo and the Fraternity want us to be free, to be at home within the fraternity, and that means to be able to make the free and full decision, to live the distance from our loved ones. This is not an abandonment of our families, but a new appropriation of our lives, and accepting the sacrifice as a response to the love of God, which calls us to freely embrace this decision. I was a little excited after getting the green light, and phoned home immediately and wished my parents happy wedding anniversary, and let them know that their gift would be my presence at Christmas time. And hopefully the chance to shovel some snow.
13. The Mass at the Lateran Basilica to inaugurate the academic year for the Lateran University, and the inviting of Suzanne Ridler to attend and for lunch afterward at the UN Food and Agriculture Organization, Wednesday October 28th. Early in the month of October, I received an email from Suzanne Ridler letting me know that she and her husband would be in Rome for the month of October, and the request to get together for a meal or walk in the city. Following a couple of emails, the best idea was to meet together for Mass at the Lateran Basilica for the inaugurating Mass for the academic year, and afterward go for lunch and a walk in the city. My parents have told me many a times, that they have been good guides and know the city very well. During the Mass I looked for Suzanne, and was pretty sure that we were sitting only couple of aisles apart, and during communion I was certain it was her. We met after the Mass in front of the façade of the Basilica. After an initial greeting, we went to meet Neil at the World Food and Agriculture Organization, part of the United Stations. After signing in, and a brief tour we all had lunch together on the rooftop cafeteria-restaurant. It was a lot of fun, eating outside with a great view of the Eternal City, we had a lovely discussion of what is Communion and Liberation and the Fraternity of St. Charles, as well, of my experience living and discerning my vocation. It was treat to just be together, to learn a little bit of their story, how they met and of their many travels. Afterward, Suzanne and I went for a little walk to visit the gardens of a religious community, we ended up at the Church of Sts. John and Peter, where the founder of the Passionists is buried, as well, we got to see where the Missionary of Charities have their Convent. We stumbled upon another garden, which funny enough was in the backyard of the Fraternity’s parish near St. John Lateran Basilica. I enjoyed telling and showing the community’s parish. Afterward we continued to walk together, and we went to their apartment for tea and cookies. Funny enough, Suzanne had planned to meet another seminarian later in the afternoon, and we were blessed to be all together for close to an hour. A fellow from Nigernia, who studies at the Santa Croce University. We all tried to speak in French, but I was at a loss for words. I was very blessed by this time together, and learning that Rhoda Ann Flood is a good friend of Suzanne, and that Fr. Paul Leblanc seemed to have a miraculous healing.
14. Reading for the month included The Risk of Education, the book of Job, Genesis and the Gospel of Luke, as well as Descartes Discourse on Method and his Meditations, and Pascal’s Pensées.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Witness for the Month of September
Testimony for September 2009
John Roderick
October 8th 2009
With the beginning of the academic year at the Lateran University just around the corner, I have time to reflect and judge certain of the notable events experienced during the month of September at the house of formation for the Fraternity of St. Charles Borromeo. The month of September is best described as being like a short prologue for the seminary year, that meaning a time to get settled back into the rhythm of the daily life at the house, to learn and begin the new responsibilities and tasks around the house, and especially a time for the new entrants to break the ice and get their feet wet regarding the what it means to be a seminarian. There is also the ever important beginning lesson accompanied with a day of silent prayer and reflection, a launch for the seminary year.
Every year these weeks prior to the beginning of the school year are given a theme. This year’s theme was The Word, and the words (La Parola, e le parole), and to reflect on our contact with the material world through manual work. The month began with a series of lectures on the Psalms, reflecting on their origin and significance for the life of the Church and especially for priests and seminarians who are asked to pray the liturgy of the hours daily. Some of the themes under analysis were the entering and participation in the divine dialogue between Christ and his spouse the Church. The first week’s lectures were followed by a presentation by don Massimo on the theme of the month, where he concentrated on John the Evangelist’s providential choice of using the words Logos and Amore to describe the irruption of God into the world. One of the meanings of the word Logos is word, and how God decided to speak to man by sending his Son into the world. He developed and explained the importance of Scripture in the monastic schools, which later developed into schools being in city centres with the local bishop being the head of the school, which in turn prepared the way for the first medieval universities, uni –veritas (the pursuit and research of the one unified truth).
The next two weeks were lessons given by Franco Camisasca, Massimo’s twin brother, and were dedicated to the theme of reading and writing, to read in order to learn to write, and to write in order to learn how to read. Later in the month, don Massimo gave another follow-up lesson which focused on the universality of the word of God, and how not one culture or language has a monopoly on God’s speaking to the world. There are two particular cultures that have a given primacy, them being the Hebrew, and the Greek. We can never forget the fact that the Word was made flesh at a particular time and place, within a particular culture, way of life and sensibilities, and subsequent encounter with the Greek Hellenistic culture. As a missionary fraternity of priests, it is very important to learn that mission passes through the embrace of cultures, languages, and peoples that are other, it is never the abolition or negation but the welcoming embrace, and through the embrace the gradual conversion to what is true and beautiful within the culture.
In regards to the manual labour aspect of the month, we began by dedicating one of the first Saturday mornings to getting the gardens and park back up to par. Later in the month, we were given the task to re-varnish the desks from the library and computer room, and to construct as well, park benches and tables for the park. Some pictures are on the Fraternity of St. Charles website, and I may try to make some available on my site.
One of the biggest highlights was the preparation for the temporal Incorporation into the Fraternity of St. Charles, one of the first steps during the years of formation on the way to priesthood.
Another one of the major projects for the month was the finishing up the written assignment of writing the story of my life. This turned into pulling an all night, last minute dash, to get the assignment done and handed in before Jonah went home to the USA to preside at his younger brother’s wedding.
One of the highlights that has surprised me is the newness of being able to welcome the new seminarians into the house. The new life and enthusiasm which they bring to the house, and the fact that they concretely help me to be more aware of where I have come from, and the growth that I lived and experienced during the first year.
Day trip to Frosenone to go hiking, and visit the parents of one of the guys in my year at the house of formation.
We had a lesson on the Risk of Education, and we will be studying this text throughout the year.
We as well, participated in the beginning day for the Communion and Liberation community of Rome. This took place in an auditorium with a video conference with Julian Carron.
We have also begun a choir dedicated to the singing of the traditional mountain songs sung in the Italian Alps during the First World War.
The important keys by which I am standing in front of these experiences and everything I am being asked to life, are best summed up with a couple of key questions: 1) Who am I, and what am I looking for within the Fraternity of St. Charles?, 2) What does it mean to be in second year, and to be temporarily incorporated?, 3) What difficulties do I still have, or what obstacles or preconceptions exist that may prevent me from fully being myself, and entering the life?.
1. The month began with the Beginning of the year retreat and day of silence which took place at the house of formation with the Missionary Sister’s of St. Charles. The morning began with Mass in the chapel followed by a lesson by the former rector of the seminary, don Gianluca Attanasio. The lesson was based on God’s love which ultimately precedes us, and our vocational journey, and the unity of our lives. We met outside in the park and began with the singing of a couple of songs from the movement. I remember the distinct difference between my disposition prior to and following the reflection. There was definitely a renewed seriousness regarding what is ultimately at stake with me being here with the fraternity, and the beauty of the flesh that I am surrounded by, how the path to my vocation passes by these people that have been given to me.
This love that ultimately precedes us began with our parents love, and our first meeting or encounter with it being the warmth embrace and smiles of our parents when we were born. How we were welcomed and given a home, a place to dwell and discover the world and ourselves. And how this journey of seeking the fulfilment of our humanity and liberty has made us reasonable and freely decide to leave our homes and ask to enter a new home, a new place of dwelling and discovery and fulfilment. God never leaves us without a home, it is the privileged place of our growth, of our education, and our learning how to judge and be in the world.
We are given these years of formation and growth to discover ourselves, to discover our humanity and liberty within a new community, a new home and dwelling place. The years are a time of preparation to live what we learn in the world, to learn to live as though the first Apostles lived, who had to stay with and follow Jesus for three years before they started going out on their own in groups of two. These years are a time of sacrifice, since we will not readily see the fruits of our labour, our hours of study and prayer, but they are definitely not lost, all is taken up with Christ, and can be offered as time lived with the Mystery.
All of this has its main point of synthesis in the liturgy. The liturgy is where we take what we have lived and judged and offer it in thanksgiving to the Father through Jesus. We must learn to enter and stay in front of the liturgy which ultimately precedes us, we do not make the liturgy but participate in something that is already given. An incredible and dramatic love story that we are freely asked to participate in with our very lives and experiences, our joys and sorrows and uncertainties. We learn how to be together, and what is the principle that unites and makes our communion and friendship true. For mission is nothing but the expansion of this friendship and communion lived and anchored in the liturgy.
Three forms of silence, we cannot stay in front of what we live, or what God is trying to communicate to us through the concreteness of our lives without taking time to be silent, and to take time to remember what most struck us during the day. The three privileged forms are 1) oratio, vocal prayer and asking God for clarity of vision and understanding of one’s life and mission, 2) lectio, we must read and stay in front of the text, be in front of the Sacred Scriptures and the text proposed for school of community, 3) meditation, to compare out lives with the texts which we are reading and to discover the link between them. All of these paths need a lot of repetition and patience, we learn through slowly suffering through, and gradually entering a new logic by which to view and understand our lives. The goal is to gradually go beyond the limited scope by which we view our lives, others and the world, and slowly enter the way by which God views our lives, those of our friends and the world, the logic of mercy and love.
On a personal note, immediately after this meditation I found a letter in my mailbox from my sister Marie Claire, which awoken me to some of my own limitations by which I view certain relationships in our family. As well awakening the need to pray and work on these given relations, even though I am on the other side of the ocean. Thanks Sally
2. The lessons on the Psalms were excellent. The concentration on the psalms helped to enter more fully into the logic of prayer, and the importance of reading Scripture. It is wild to think that reading and becoming familiar with these texts can be a path to enter more fully into the divine dialogue between Christ and the Church. But also to be reminded that I don’t ever take the initiative in prayer, it is always a response to a love that precedes me. God has given these words and texts to help reveal himself to all men and women, and also to reveal the greatness of man to himself. We only discover our full integrity by gradually entering into the way by which God looks upon us, and this is nothing that we do or create by ourselves. It was great to hear the testimony of this priest and for him to share what he has met and encountered by entering more fully into the prayer of the Church, as well, the renewed understanding of really praying with and for the Church, for those who cannot pray who are part of the body of Christ. These days were an incredible awakening and deepening of some the ideas that I have come across.
3. The lectures by Franco Camisasca were a good introduction to many of the important aspects of reading and writing that we often don’t pay attention to or are just ignorant to. What does it mean to communicate a message, how does one communicate a message, who is the writer and who is the audience, what language and sensibilities to people or cultures have. We focused on many of these fundamental questions, as well, questions regarding the various types of material or books we read, what kind of approach or stance should we have in front of them. Is there any difference between reading the newspaper and a novel, or a philosophy book? How much time and what kind of attention should we have with these various texts? We also worked on listening skills, listening to the reading of a short novel, and writing a summary.
These two weeks of lessons were very helpful for me. There was nothing utterly new from many of the things I have read, or from the approach I have to writing a paper or a summary. However, the way Franco put the class together, and got all of us writing every day was very helpful. To learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others, and to see how other people write and express themselves was a real treat. It is a real reflection of self, the way one writes and takes time communicate, one can never leave the complex culture and experiences which one has lived when writing, it all is born or arises out of a way of looking at the world.
4. Manual work. For two weeks we dedicated three days to study and to working on reading and writing skills, and the remaining two to manual work. The projects included the removal of the old varnish from the desks from the library and from the computer room, as well as the building of park benches and tables. We initially were divided into two groups, the philosophy students working on removing the varnish and preparing the tables for a fresh coat, whereas the theology students were working on the building of the benches and tables. I always get a little nervous when it comes to doing manual work with my Italian brothers, from past experience I have tended to become frustrated with their style and approach to work. However these days were slightly different which was a real treat. There was a real ambition on the part of the first year guys, and it carried over to the whole group and we had a grand time. To remover the old varnish we used a liquid chemical which we painted on the various sides of the desk, following sixty seconds to allow for the chemical reaction to occur with the old varnish, the old varnish came off with little work. On each side of the desk, we had to place at least three or four coats of the chemical to completely remove the old and dirty varnish. The chemical burned a little bit on the contact with exposed skin, and a couple of guys who were working a little carelessly, had to continually run to the sink to wash off the chemical. At mid morning, we had a nice break with sandwiches and wine and water. One thing I can definitely say from my time spent in Italy, is that Italians sure know how to relax and take breaks in style, which initially was a little difficult getting used to, but I must confess I am starting to get a hang of it. I had to laugh taking a half an hour break following an hour’s worth of work, but I have to embrace this aspect of the culture. We finished the work on the desks and had them ready to be varnished with a fresh coat after two days.
Near the end of the second day of manual work, I ended up helping the guys in theology drill the tables together. This was a lot of fun, since I got to work with Pato and Diego, two other seminarians from Chile and Mexico. We were teasing each other a little bit, because we were the only one’s remaining at the end of the day.
5. Temporary Incorporation into the Fraternity of St. Charles occurred on September 17th 2008 during the evening Mass. At our Monday lunch together with all the guys in the second year, Jonah told us that we all had been accepted to continue our discernment with the Fraternity, by making the temporal incorporation. We were asked to write a letter to don Massimo, seeking temporal incorporation, which helps us to freely determine whether we want to make this choice and continue to follow and deepen our understanding of what we have met, and our following. It was made clear that it is not a necessary given that all seminarians following their first year are permitted to make this step. Personally, I was a little excited and a little nervous about the whole thing. Excited since I was confirmed by the Fraternity that they want me to continue to grow and seek my vocation and place within the Fraternity, them saying “yes” to me, for my vocational pursuit, that is, the truth of my person and my freedom. A little nervous since, I initially thought that I should be further along the path of certainty and clarity of questions not yet resolved. However, God accepts and works with what he has, and where his people are in their journey. Don Paolo Sottopietra celebrated the Mass, and all of us in second year went before the altar and publicly and freely expressed our desire to be embraced by the Fraternity, and to continue our vocational verification. We all got dressed up with our suits and ties, and had a practice earlier in the day. I am happy that I had time to write a letter, a prayer in my journal, expressing my joy and some of my questions that I wanted to lay before God. Later in the evening, I joined two of the guys in first year for Gelato at a nearby gelateria within walking distance to the house.
6. The writing assignment, to write the story of your life, had the purpose to help our superiors better know the story of each of the second year seminarians, how each of us arrived at the house of formation, as well, to possibly see specific areas where we may need growth and maturation, or possible problems that need to be resolved prior to ordination. Initially, my goal was to get a good start and have it completed before returning to Saint John for the summer vacation. However, that definitely was not the case. I remember well my initial reflections and notes, a schema or general outline that I put together one afternoon when in adoration at the Cathedral in Saint John following the noon hour Mass. I remember thinking about the various places I felt at home, the various schools, universities and educational experiences, sports and music lessons, beaver-cubs-scouts and venturer’s, piano and violin lessons, and having my family and friends being the glue that keep all these experiences together, or at least being the keys by which I understand everything that I have lived, and what has been given to me over the years. This was a great experience, since it helped me better understand the desire I have to be known, to share and reveal who I am with the people I have been given to live with.
As well, it helped me better understand the challenge that I lived last year, the inability or lack of full ability to fully be myself, being oneself means being in relation with others, giving of oneself and making space for another all at the same time. I am consoled since I find that I am much more capable of entering into communion and friendship with the guys I am living with, and better understand much of the frustration that I was asked to live through last year. This is also a boost for the hope I have for the upcoming year, to see how I have grown with my level of comfort at the house and with the guys. I am exciting to see what God has in store for me this year, and am much more certain that I am walking together with God and with all the guys at the house to the truth of our vocations, and the fullness of our respective persons. I think this was a hurdle that was able to be overcome through the project. Also, I was deeply reminded that I am here because God has enabled me to meet certain people, and be interested in following them, and the beauty that they are following. I was able to reminded of who I am, where I am from, what I have met, and what attracted me to taking the reasonable risk to come to Rome, and ask to verify my vocation with the Fraternity of St. Charles. It is wild to see how God works through every aspect of our lives, that there is unity, even amongst the chaos and disorder, there is a presence which calls us forth, and asks us to follow.
The assignment had to be written in Italian which involved a lot of work, I still have a limited vocabulary and often do not have the words to express to the extent that I would like certain events and happenings, which have made it possible for me to be in Rome. The pages slowly came together, and by the end of it, I was please with the work. I was honest with myself, and tried to communicate that as best as possible, knowing that it can only help my superiors better know who I am and where I come from, while at the same time, to better understand myself and how I view and judge the world.
7. The Alpine Choir is made up of a group of seminarians who meet to sing traditional Italian war songs, songs sung by the Italian people who recount the experience of fighting, living and working in the mountains. Luigi Giussani always encouraged the singing of these songs as a way to participate in the story and history of the Italian people. They are a path to better understand who the Italian people are, and what and how they lived. Initially, I was a little hesitant since when I first arrived one of the vice rectors asked me if I was there to watch, and I surprised him by telling him I was there to sing. I have a desire to go to the heart of the community, to see if this is what truly responds to what I want to live and dedicate my whole person to. Unfortunately sometimes, almost always, involves taking risks and overcoming obstacles and barriers when they arise. However, what is at stake is the fulfilment of our person and freedom, and we must love the truth of our person more than what others think of us, or their prejudices and limited understanding of who we are and what we are looking for. I had the pleasure to go running on a couple of occasions with the head of the choir, a first year guy named Giovanni Fasani from Rimini, and he encouraged me to join. I told him that I found it difficult last year when singing with the folk choir, because there was a lack of direction and seriousness about being together and singing. However, I could not let that get in the way with my desire to sing, and to be with the other guys, and to learn more fully the Italian people and culture.
8. Welcoming the new seminarians and showing them the ropes regarding life at the house was a lot of fun. I was excited during the first couple of weeks, since I was frequently asked to go running, and or pray the rosary in the park. I remember thinking to myself how much I was being blessed to have four new running partners, as well as people with an openness to helping me better understand what it means to be Italian, and to share their experience of the CL movement. Spending time with them helped me to be reminded as well, of my first few weeks at the house of formation, and my initial impressions of what it means to be a seminarian and seeking my vocation with the Fraternity of St. Charles. I was really excited with their enthusiasm and excitement about this new beginning, and helped me to re-kindle the fire within me.
9. Prior to the beginning of the school year, I was invited to make a day trip to Frosenone to go hiking with a group of guys in second year and afterward visit a Cistercian monastery, and then go for dinner at Andrea Aversa’s parents house at Ceccano. We had a grand time, hiking and jumping into a small and freezing cold creek. We even transplanted a tree for one of the guy’s birthday presents. The monastery Santuario Madonna Delle Cese, was located at Trisulti. Before arriving at the monastery, we stopped and visited a hermitage, a sanctuary carved out of a whole in a mountain. Here we prayed mid-afternoon prayer before proceeding to the monastery. Upon entering, we found a monk working in the gardens and he offered to give us a guided tour of the facility. A couple of the highlights of the monastery were the herbarium, many missionaries would often come to the monastery after their missions for check ups, and to return herbs from the places they ministered, many shrubs carved into shapes of the various animals referred to in the Scriptures, the cloistered areas for prayer and reflection, the main Church with many fresco’s painted on the walls.
Dinner at Aversa’s house was a fantastic experience. We were welcomed like kings, or like groomsman having a feast before the wedding. We asked many questions about how Andrea let his parents know about his desire to enter the seminary, and stories about his childhood, and his experiences being a boy scout. After dinner, we sat around and looked at family pictures for close to an hour. This experience was really important for the whole day spent together was like a gradual and deepening revelation of who Andrea is, to better see the concreteness of his history and family, his stomping grounds. Through experiences like this, we grow closer together, more of each other is revealed, and more space is asked to be made to welcome the other. It is in making space for the other, that we are revealed to ourselves, many of his stories and his relationships with his parents shined a little light on my own, and helped me to better see my own life, and experiences.
Overall, September proved to be a very important month for it got the ball rolling again, rekindled the fire to seek the truth of my life and person within the community of the Fraternity of St. Charles. As well, to stay in front of the questions that I still have, and the answers I am looking for, for it is being faithful to these questions and everything that I live, where the answers will be revealed and gradually made clear. Nothing is ever not taken up, and there is no need to short circuit any of our questions, or uncertainties. God really wants his servants to walk in peace, and in truth and the light of His love and mercy, we are given these months and years of formation to grown in the certainty that He does and will respond to what we are looking for, if we adhere and our faithful to the circumstances and life we are being asked to live.
John Roderick
October 8th 2009
With the beginning of the academic year at the Lateran University just around the corner, I have time to reflect and judge certain of the notable events experienced during the month of September at the house of formation for the Fraternity of St. Charles Borromeo. The month of September is best described as being like a short prologue for the seminary year, that meaning a time to get settled back into the rhythm of the daily life at the house, to learn and begin the new responsibilities and tasks around the house, and especially a time for the new entrants to break the ice and get their feet wet regarding the what it means to be a seminarian. There is also the ever important beginning lesson accompanied with a day of silent prayer and reflection, a launch for the seminary year.
Every year these weeks prior to the beginning of the school year are given a theme. This year’s theme was The Word, and the words (La Parola, e le parole), and to reflect on our contact with the material world through manual work. The month began with a series of lectures on the Psalms, reflecting on their origin and significance for the life of the Church and especially for priests and seminarians who are asked to pray the liturgy of the hours daily. Some of the themes under analysis were the entering and participation in the divine dialogue between Christ and his spouse the Church. The first week’s lectures were followed by a presentation by don Massimo on the theme of the month, where he concentrated on John the Evangelist’s providential choice of using the words Logos and Amore to describe the irruption of God into the world. One of the meanings of the word Logos is word, and how God decided to speak to man by sending his Son into the world. He developed and explained the importance of Scripture in the monastic schools, which later developed into schools being in city centres with the local bishop being the head of the school, which in turn prepared the way for the first medieval universities, uni –veritas (the pursuit and research of the one unified truth).
The next two weeks were lessons given by Franco Camisasca, Massimo’s twin brother, and were dedicated to the theme of reading and writing, to read in order to learn to write, and to write in order to learn how to read. Later in the month, don Massimo gave another follow-up lesson which focused on the universality of the word of God, and how not one culture or language has a monopoly on God’s speaking to the world. There are two particular cultures that have a given primacy, them being the Hebrew, and the Greek. We can never forget the fact that the Word was made flesh at a particular time and place, within a particular culture, way of life and sensibilities, and subsequent encounter with the Greek Hellenistic culture. As a missionary fraternity of priests, it is very important to learn that mission passes through the embrace of cultures, languages, and peoples that are other, it is never the abolition or negation but the welcoming embrace, and through the embrace the gradual conversion to what is true and beautiful within the culture.
In regards to the manual labour aspect of the month, we began by dedicating one of the first Saturday mornings to getting the gardens and park back up to par. Later in the month, we were given the task to re-varnish the desks from the library and computer room, and to construct as well, park benches and tables for the park. Some pictures are on the Fraternity of St. Charles website, and I may try to make some available on my site.
One of the biggest highlights was the preparation for the temporal Incorporation into the Fraternity of St. Charles, one of the first steps during the years of formation on the way to priesthood.
Another one of the major projects for the month was the finishing up the written assignment of writing the story of my life. This turned into pulling an all night, last minute dash, to get the assignment done and handed in before Jonah went home to the USA to preside at his younger brother’s wedding.
One of the highlights that has surprised me is the newness of being able to welcome the new seminarians into the house. The new life and enthusiasm which they bring to the house, and the fact that they concretely help me to be more aware of where I have come from, and the growth that I lived and experienced during the first year.
Day trip to Frosenone to go hiking, and visit the parents of one of the guys in my year at the house of formation.
We had a lesson on the Risk of Education, and we will be studying this text throughout the year.
We as well, participated in the beginning day for the Communion and Liberation community of Rome. This took place in an auditorium with a video conference with Julian Carron.
We have also begun a choir dedicated to the singing of the traditional mountain songs sung in the Italian Alps during the First World War.
The important keys by which I am standing in front of these experiences and everything I am being asked to life, are best summed up with a couple of key questions: 1) Who am I, and what am I looking for within the Fraternity of St. Charles?, 2) What does it mean to be in second year, and to be temporarily incorporated?, 3) What difficulties do I still have, or what obstacles or preconceptions exist that may prevent me from fully being myself, and entering the life?.
1. The month began with the Beginning of the year retreat and day of silence which took place at the house of formation with the Missionary Sister’s of St. Charles. The morning began with Mass in the chapel followed by a lesson by the former rector of the seminary, don Gianluca Attanasio. The lesson was based on God’s love which ultimately precedes us, and our vocational journey, and the unity of our lives. We met outside in the park and began with the singing of a couple of songs from the movement. I remember the distinct difference between my disposition prior to and following the reflection. There was definitely a renewed seriousness regarding what is ultimately at stake with me being here with the fraternity, and the beauty of the flesh that I am surrounded by, how the path to my vocation passes by these people that have been given to me.
This love that ultimately precedes us began with our parents love, and our first meeting or encounter with it being the warmth embrace and smiles of our parents when we were born. How we were welcomed and given a home, a place to dwell and discover the world and ourselves. And how this journey of seeking the fulfilment of our humanity and liberty has made us reasonable and freely decide to leave our homes and ask to enter a new home, a new place of dwelling and discovery and fulfilment. God never leaves us without a home, it is the privileged place of our growth, of our education, and our learning how to judge and be in the world.
We are given these years of formation and growth to discover ourselves, to discover our humanity and liberty within a new community, a new home and dwelling place. The years are a time of preparation to live what we learn in the world, to learn to live as though the first Apostles lived, who had to stay with and follow Jesus for three years before they started going out on their own in groups of two. These years are a time of sacrifice, since we will not readily see the fruits of our labour, our hours of study and prayer, but they are definitely not lost, all is taken up with Christ, and can be offered as time lived with the Mystery.
All of this has its main point of synthesis in the liturgy. The liturgy is where we take what we have lived and judged and offer it in thanksgiving to the Father through Jesus. We must learn to enter and stay in front of the liturgy which ultimately precedes us, we do not make the liturgy but participate in something that is already given. An incredible and dramatic love story that we are freely asked to participate in with our very lives and experiences, our joys and sorrows and uncertainties. We learn how to be together, and what is the principle that unites and makes our communion and friendship true. For mission is nothing but the expansion of this friendship and communion lived and anchored in the liturgy.
Three forms of silence, we cannot stay in front of what we live, or what God is trying to communicate to us through the concreteness of our lives without taking time to be silent, and to take time to remember what most struck us during the day. The three privileged forms are 1) oratio, vocal prayer and asking God for clarity of vision and understanding of one’s life and mission, 2) lectio, we must read and stay in front of the text, be in front of the Sacred Scriptures and the text proposed for school of community, 3) meditation, to compare out lives with the texts which we are reading and to discover the link between them. All of these paths need a lot of repetition and patience, we learn through slowly suffering through, and gradually entering a new logic by which to view and understand our lives. The goal is to gradually go beyond the limited scope by which we view our lives, others and the world, and slowly enter the way by which God views our lives, those of our friends and the world, the logic of mercy and love.
On a personal note, immediately after this meditation I found a letter in my mailbox from my sister Marie Claire, which awoken me to some of my own limitations by which I view certain relationships in our family. As well awakening the need to pray and work on these given relations, even though I am on the other side of the ocean. Thanks Sally
2. The lessons on the Psalms were excellent. The concentration on the psalms helped to enter more fully into the logic of prayer, and the importance of reading Scripture. It is wild to think that reading and becoming familiar with these texts can be a path to enter more fully into the divine dialogue between Christ and the Church. But also to be reminded that I don’t ever take the initiative in prayer, it is always a response to a love that precedes me. God has given these words and texts to help reveal himself to all men and women, and also to reveal the greatness of man to himself. We only discover our full integrity by gradually entering into the way by which God looks upon us, and this is nothing that we do or create by ourselves. It was great to hear the testimony of this priest and for him to share what he has met and encountered by entering more fully into the prayer of the Church, as well, the renewed understanding of really praying with and for the Church, for those who cannot pray who are part of the body of Christ. These days were an incredible awakening and deepening of some the ideas that I have come across.
3. The lectures by Franco Camisasca were a good introduction to many of the important aspects of reading and writing that we often don’t pay attention to or are just ignorant to. What does it mean to communicate a message, how does one communicate a message, who is the writer and who is the audience, what language and sensibilities to people or cultures have. We focused on many of these fundamental questions, as well, questions regarding the various types of material or books we read, what kind of approach or stance should we have in front of them. Is there any difference between reading the newspaper and a novel, or a philosophy book? How much time and what kind of attention should we have with these various texts? We also worked on listening skills, listening to the reading of a short novel, and writing a summary.
These two weeks of lessons were very helpful for me. There was nothing utterly new from many of the things I have read, or from the approach I have to writing a paper or a summary. However, the way Franco put the class together, and got all of us writing every day was very helpful. To learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others, and to see how other people write and express themselves was a real treat. It is a real reflection of self, the way one writes and takes time communicate, one can never leave the complex culture and experiences which one has lived when writing, it all is born or arises out of a way of looking at the world.
4. Manual work. For two weeks we dedicated three days to study and to working on reading and writing skills, and the remaining two to manual work. The projects included the removal of the old varnish from the desks from the library and from the computer room, as well as the building of park benches and tables. We initially were divided into two groups, the philosophy students working on removing the varnish and preparing the tables for a fresh coat, whereas the theology students were working on the building of the benches and tables. I always get a little nervous when it comes to doing manual work with my Italian brothers, from past experience I have tended to become frustrated with their style and approach to work. However these days were slightly different which was a real treat. There was a real ambition on the part of the first year guys, and it carried over to the whole group and we had a grand time. To remover the old varnish we used a liquid chemical which we painted on the various sides of the desk, following sixty seconds to allow for the chemical reaction to occur with the old varnish, the old varnish came off with little work. On each side of the desk, we had to place at least three or four coats of the chemical to completely remove the old and dirty varnish. The chemical burned a little bit on the contact with exposed skin, and a couple of guys who were working a little carelessly, had to continually run to the sink to wash off the chemical. At mid morning, we had a nice break with sandwiches and wine and water. One thing I can definitely say from my time spent in Italy, is that Italians sure know how to relax and take breaks in style, which initially was a little difficult getting used to, but I must confess I am starting to get a hang of it. I had to laugh taking a half an hour break following an hour’s worth of work, but I have to embrace this aspect of the culture. We finished the work on the desks and had them ready to be varnished with a fresh coat after two days.
Near the end of the second day of manual work, I ended up helping the guys in theology drill the tables together. This was a lot of fun, since I got to work with Pato and Diego, two other seminarians from Chile and Mexico. We were teasing each other a little bit, because we were the only one’s remaining at the end of the day.
5. Temporary Incorporation into the Fraternity of St. Charles occurred on September 17th 2008 during the evening Mass. At our Monday lunch together with all the guys in the second year, Jonah told us that we all had been accepted to continue our discernment with the Fraternity, by making the temporal incorporation. We were asked to write a letter to don Massimo, seeking temporal incorporation, which helps us to freely determine whether we want to make this choice and continue to follow and deepen our understanding of what we have met, and our following. It was made clear that it is not a necessary given that all seminarians following their first year are permitted to make this step. Personally, I was a little excited and a little nervous about the whole thing. Excited since I was confirmed by the Fraternity that they want me to continue to grow and seek my vocation and place within the Fraternity, them saying “yes” to me, for my vocational pursuit, that is, the truth of my person and my freedom. A little nervous since, I initially thought that I should be further along the path of certainty and clarity of questions not yet resolved. However, God accepts and works with what he has, and where his people are in their journey. Don Paolo Sottopietra celebrated the Mass, and all of us in second year went before the altar and publicly and freely expressed our desire to be embraced by the Fraternity, and to continue our vocational verification. We all got dressed up with our suits and ties, and had a practice earlier in the day. I am happy that I had time to write a letter, a prayer in my journal, expressing my joy and some of my questions that I wanted to lay before God. Later in the evening, I joined two of the guys in first year for Gelato at a nearby gelateria within walking distance to the house.
6. The writing assignment, to write the story of your life, had the purpose to help our superiors better know the story of each of the second year seminarians, how each of us arrived at the house of formation, as well, to possibly see specific areas where we may need growth and maturation, or possible problems that need to be resolved prior to ordination. Initially, my goal was to get a good start and have it completed before returning to Saint John for the summer vacation. However, that definitely was not the case. I remember well my initial reflections and notes, a schema or general outline that I put together one afternoon when in adoration at the Cathedral in Saint John following the noon hour Mass. I remember thinking about the various places I felt at home, the various schools, universities and educational experiences, sports and music lessons, beaver-cubs-scouts and venturer’s, piano and violin lessons, and having my family and friends being the glue that keep all these experiences together, or at least being the keys by which I understand everything that I have lived, and what has been given to me over the years. This was a great experience, since it helped me better understand the desire I have to be known, to share and reveal who I am with the people I have been given to live with.
As well, it helped me better understand the challenge that I lived last year, the inability or lack of full ability to fully be myself, being oneself means being in relation with others, giving of oneself and making space for another all at the same time. I am consoled since I find that I am much more capable of entering into communion and friendship with the guys I am living with, and better understand much of the frustration that I was asked to live through last year. This is also a boost for the hope I have for the upcoming year, to see how I have grown with my level of comfort at the house and with the guys. I am exciting to see what God has in store for me this year, and am much more certain that I am walking together with God and with all the guys at the house to the truth of our vocations, and the fullness of our respective persons. I think this was a hurdle that was able to be overcome through the project. Also, I was deeply reminded that I am here because God has enabled me to meet certain people, and be interested in following them, and the beauty that they are following. I was able to reminded of who I am, where I am from, what I have met, and what attracted me to taking the reasonable risk to come to Rome, and ask to verify my vocation with the Fraternity of St. Charles. It is wild to see how God works through every aspect of our lives, that there is unity, even amongst the chaos and disorder, there is a presence which calls us forth, and asks us to follow.
The assignment had to be written in Italian which involved a lot of work, I still have a limited vocabulary and often do not have the words to express to the extent that I would like certain events and happenings, which have made it possible for me to be in Rome. The pages slowly came together, and by the end of it, I was please with the work. I was honest with myself, and tried to communicate that as best as possible, knowing that it can only help my superiors better know who I am and where I come from, while at the same time, to better understand myself and how I view and judge the world.
7. The Alpine Choir is made up of a group of seminarians who meet to sing traditional Italian war songs, songs sung by the Italian people who recount the experience of fighting, living and working in the mountains. Luigi Giussani always encouraged the singing of these songs as a way to participate in the story and history of the Italian people. They are a path to better understand who the Italian people are, and what and how they lived. Initially, I was a little hesitant since when I first arrived one of the vice rectors asked me if I was there to watch, and I surprised him by telling him I was there to sing. I have a desire to go to the heart of the community, to see if this is what truly responds to what I want to live and dedicate my whole person to. Unfortunately sometimes, almost always, involves taking risks and overcoming obstacles and barriers when they arise. However, what is at stake is the fulfilment of our person and freedom, and we must love the truth of our person more than what others think of us, or their prejudices and limited understanding of who we are and what we are looking for. I had the pleasure to go running on a couple of occasions with the head of the choir, a first year guy named Giovanni Fasani from Rimini, and he encouraged me to join. I told him that I found it difficult last year when singing with the folk choir, because there was a lack of direction and seriousness about being together and singing. However, I could not let that get in the way with my desire to sing, and to be with the other guys, and to learn more fully the Italian people and culture.
8. Welcoming the new seminarians and showing them the ropes regarding life at the house was a lot of fun. I was excited during the first couple of weeks, since I was frequently asked to go running, and or pray the rosary in the park. I remember thinking to myself how much I was being blessed to have four new running partners, as well as people with an openness to helping me better understand what it means to be Italian, and to share their experience of the CL movement. Spending time with them helped me to be reminded as well, of my first few weeks at the house of formation, and my initial impressions of what it means to be a seminarian and seeking my vocation with the Fraternity of St. Charles. I was really excited with their enthusiasm and excitement about this new beginning, and helped me to re-kindle the fire within me.
9. Prior to the beginning of the school year, I was invited to make a day trip to Frosenone to go hiking with a group of guys in second year and afterward visit a Cistercian monastery, and then go for dinner at Andrea Aversa’s parents house at Ceccano. We had a grand time, hiking and jumping into a small and freezing cold creek. We even transplanted a tree for one of the guy’s birthday presents. The monastery Santuario Madonna Delle Cese, was located at Trisulti. Before arriving at the monastery, we stopped and visited a hermitage, a sanctuary carved out of a whole in a mountain. Here we prayed mid-afternoon prayer before proceeding to the monastery. Upon entering, we found a monk working in the gardens and he offered to give us a guided tour of the facility. A couple of the highlights of the monastery were the herbarium, many missionaries would often come to the monastery after their missions for check ups, and to return herbs from the places they ministered, many shrubs carved into shapes of the various animals referred to in the Scriptures, the cloistered areas for prayer and reflection, the main Church with many fresco’s painted on the walls.
Dinner at Aversa’s house was a fantastic experience. We were welcomed like kings, or like groomsman having a feast before the wedding. We asked many questions about how Andrea let his parents know about his desire to enter the seminary, and stories about his childhood, and his experiences being a boy scout. After dinner, we sat around and looked at family pictures for close to an hour. This experience was really important for the whole day spent together was like a gradual and deepening revelation of who Andrea is, to better see the concreteness of his history and family, his stomping grounds. Through experiences like this, we grow closer together, more of each other is revealed, and more space is asked to be made to welcome the other. It is in making space for the other, that we are revealed to ourselves, many of his stories and his relationships with his parents shined a little light on my own, and helped me to better see my own life, and experiences.
Overall, September proved to be a very important month for it got the ball rolling again, rekindled the fire to seek the truth of my life and person within the community of the Fraternity of St. Charles. As well, to stay in front of the questions that I still have, and the answers I am looking for, for it is being faithful to these questions and everything that I live, where the answers will be revealed and gradually made clear. Nothing is ever not taken up, and there is no need to short circuit any of our questions, or uncertainties. God really wants his servants to walk in peace, and in truth and the light of His love and mercy, we are given these months and years of formation to grown in the certainty that He does and will respond to what we are looking for, if we adhere and our faithful to the circumstances and life we are being asked to live.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Witness for the Month of June
Testimony for June 2009
John Roderick
July 6th 2009
It is a real treat to be able to write the witness for the month of June, of my experience during the novitiate year at the house of formation for the Fraternity of St. Charles, from Colle Santa Lucia, in the north eastern mountains which form the border between Italy and Austria, otherwise known as the dolomites. The first year students are here for a two week time of rest and repose, with the founder and superior general of the Fraternity, and our two vice rectors.
Looking back on the month of June, this particular period of time can best be described as the rounding of the final curve of a long race, possibility even a marathon. One can see and taste the satisfaction of completing the tasks and work at hand, while at the same time recognizing the work and energy required to reach the end goal. Following a very rocky month of May, I was looking forward very much to completing all the work at hand, and having the summer months to be with and in front of everything I lived during the year, in order to allow my comprehension and judgment to mature. While at the same time, trying to be present and give myself completely to everything that was being asked of me, and being obedient to the daily life of the community.
The month of June began with a bang, on June 1st I had my exam with Philip Larry on the philosophy of knowledge, as well as a surprise meeting up with Michelle Boras, who was staying at the house of formation for a week, and the attending of a piano concert by Miriam Conti at the house of the Missionary sisters of St. Charles. During the first week of the month, don Jonah asked all the guys in first year to meet with him individually and give a personal judgment on the year. From the notes I prepared for this judgment on the year flow much of the present testimony. On Friday June 5th, I completed my final oral exam of the year, Medieval philosophy with Giuliano D’Onofrio, and following completion of the post exam celebration at a Siciliano dolceria, near the Basilica St. Clemente, where I bumped into my good friend from Saint John, Rafal Szyminski. The first Saturday of the month June 6th, I had the special delight of accompanying don Massimo, and Paolo Degenaro, ordained deacon in June, to a Beato Angelico exhibit at the Piazza Campiolio (huge statue of Marco Aurelio). On Sunday June 7th, a group of us attended the end of the year party at the Fraternity’s parish at the Magliana, where there was lots of good snacks, prizes to be won, and Napolitano music (Pedroli, Umbe, Matteini, Facchini and I). On Tuesday June 9th, I presented my paper on the metaphysics of common sense to Antonio Levi, and later in the afternoon ventured into the city to pick up tickets for the weekly papal audience near the Trevi fountain, for two of my friends from Washington, DC (David and Erin Graver), who were arriving in Rome for their viaggio di nozze (honeymoon). After meeting up at their hotel near-beside the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, we went for a little tour and dinner Da Danilo, and gelato before calling it a night. On Wednesday June 10th, we held our final house meeting for the year with don Massimo, on the meaning and importance of asking permission to go out at night and leave the seminary grounds. On Thursday June 11th , I participated in a Cribbage showdown with don Jonah, and introduced him to music by Coldplay and David Miles, we ate some of the sour candies that my dear sister Marie Claire had sent to me a couple weeks previously. On Friday June 12th, I went to the final concert of the year at the missionary sisters, a cellist named Giacomo Grava, as well attended to following the action of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroit Red Wings (that a boy Sydney, sorry Henkel you’ll have to wait for next year). Saturday June 13th was spent making a road trip to Cassino and Montecassino where the monastery of St. Benedict is located, and having the opportunity to meet the abbot of the monastery, and seeing the relics and learning the history, and importance of the relation regarding the official diocesan recognition of Communion and Liberation (Gianni Brambilla from Mexico). On Monday June 15th we had our final Caminetto with don Massimo for the year, meeting outside in the park, and him asking what is the most important thing we are taking home with us from the year at the house of formation. On Tuesday June 16th, the first year guys were given the responsibility of bottling the 150 litres of Limoncello, that were prepared back in the early spring, to have ready to sell and make available for the ordinations. On Wednesday June 17th, I was given the responsibility of driving the guys in first year to the beach, a little nervous driving on the highways, first year completion party at the beach with don Jonah, as well as getting time in the morning to hang out and go running with DJ. The weekend of June 18th -21st was dedicated to preparation and ordination activities, every year, the guys in the early years of the seminary formation are responsible for all the preparation and planning of the after party at the Centro, preparing for the ordination Mass itself at Santa Maria Maggiore, and the first Mass which was held at our parish called the Navicella (Church where don Antonio Lopez celebrated Mass for the Insititute for the conference in 2006). On Sunday evening, I was permitted to take the car solo into Battistini to meet up with David and Erin for supper, and to hear about their week in Assisi. The final week in June 22nd to the 26th was dedicated to working around the house of formation, moving furniture and getting rooms ready to be painted, painting, and prep work for the fall, we are expecting 12-13 new first year novices in the fall, and their rooms need to be painted and adequately prepared. Also during the final week of June, I was blessed to have Rafal spend the week at the house of formation -the International Welcoming house, Casa di Accoglienza, we had a ball hanging out, going to the beach, watching a couple of soccer games, and praying the rosary in the sun. The final days of the month of June were dedicated to preparing for the first year novices vacation at Colle Santa Lucia, in the north-eastern Italian mountains, where the Italian troops fought against the Hungarian-Austrian alliance. The month of June brought to conclusion the year dedicated to the study of the life of St. Paul and his teachings, and the beginning of the year dedicated to priests and the priesthood, to the renewal and recovery of the mystery and grandeur of the priesthood. Reading for the month included the completion of Is it Possible to live this Way?, The Religious Sense, some of Giussani’s first writings and articles from his teaching days at Venegono, and at Liceo Berchet, the second book of the history of Communion and Liberation, Josef Holzner’s Apostle Paul and the Holy Father’s catechesis on Paul, Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, Claudel’s Commentary on the Apostles’ Creed, and Melina and Noriega’s book, which don Konrad gave to me.
1. It was a real treat to begin the month with the arrival of Michelle Boras at the house of formation. I met her in the park during a run, and I almost ran completely by her without taking notice of her, since she was staying in the house of St. Joseph. She had come to Rome from Germany, to meet and visit with old friends from the John Paul II Institute and friends who she had met during her years at home, she had met and made close friendships with a number of priests from the Fraternity. It was refreshing to get caught up on her experience living and following the life of the Community of St. John in Germany, learning more about the concrete life they are living, and their vision of living in the world. One thing that has remained in my heart from these days is a story she told telling her meeting with the former secretary of von Balthasar and von Speyr. She asked her how can I make more time, or add more prayer time to my daily life, and the response was the following, “the way to look at one’s life with the above question, is to ask how can I open my prayer life, relationship and dialogue with God to include more and take up more of the daily practical aspects of life”. The contemplative life, living one’s relation with God, is not about adding more prayers at the beginning or end of the day, but to open this special relationship to include more and more of who I am, and what I do, and what I treasure. This has been a constant theme for me during this year, in particular from readings regarding the liturgy, and the praying of the divine office, and in particular from Augustine’s Confessions, and use of the psalms as a framework to see, understand, and deepen one’s comprehension of one’s relation to God within the Church, to read one’s life with, and within the structure and giveness of the history and tradition of the Church.
I also completed my exam for Philip Larry on this day, a very kind and generous teacher from the United States. I brought a picture I had taken from a carnival I had attended with the other guys in first year during our study weekend at our country house in Porchiano. The picture was of what looked like to be a time machine. Prof. Larry is a science enthusiast, and often talked about science, technology and its affect on man. I brought it, and explained how it related to the chapter on the soul and its faculties, and some of the dangers and red flags that are brought when in contemporary science. He really appreciated the thoughtfulness of the discussion, and when I asked when we could begin the exam, he said that the conversation had would suffice for a grade, having demonstrated that I had taken the material and thought about its practical implications, and relevance to the many discussions had during class time.
Back in May, Jonah and I shook on taking him for a drive at the beginning of the month of June. I was given the opportunity to take the Panda, a whole story in itself, a car no bigger than the dinky cars I used to play with as a kid, to drive to the missionary sisters house, along with Apolonio and Matteo Corbelli (roommate when I first arrived in Rome last spring). There were no troubles with the driving, which was a nice relief, pleased that I got all of them to the concert on time, and alive. Roman traffic is a whole different story compared to driving in Saint John. The missionary sisters put on a series of concerts at their home, welcoming friends from their parish, benefactors and priests and seminarians from the Fraternity. The community has two girls who wear habits, and the superior studied piano in Milano before asking to start the community, and she has many of her friends come to the house to play and have concerts, sharing the beauty and passion, and friendship with the community. Two polish sisters who were friends of Sr. Rachelle performed an hour long recital, with commentary on the pieces and timeframe of their composure. It was nice to talk with Kristen, Michelle and Apolonio about our north American perspective and vision of Italy, and Italian traditions and ways of life.
2. The personal judgment of the first year at the house of formation took place early Saturday morning in the park, amidst a windstorm. We both decided that it would be more personal and comfortable meeting outside, knowing our common passion for being outside, and history working together in the park. It was a real treat to share everything that had been on my heart during the month of May, the difficulties and uncertainties, and struggles, but also the wonderful surprises I was blessed by. I framed my judgment around two themes, that of education and surprise. I am still in awe with the education I received this year, a very different type of education than that which I have received in the past. An education not overly focused on reading great books and following great professors at the university, but one focused more on personal and concrete experience, the experience of seeking belonging, understanding and freedom, the making sense of one’s life in light of the free decision to come to Rome and seek a vocation with the Fraternity. An education rooted in silence, looking at and staying in front of what one lives, and what one is attracted to, and asking why is it that I am attracted to this, how does this make sense in light of everything I have lived in the past, and all of my experience, why do I have certain unforeseen struggles with relationships with other seminarians and superiors. A whole can of worms that one does not in any way expect to arise. However at the same time, very important since has enabled this experience to be more my own, to live it with a greater awareness of my dependence on the Mystery, and learning that I am indeed a beggar, and not a very good one. Some of the difficulties with being away from home, and friends, a little nostalgia for what is familiar and worked in the past. All in this seen in the framework and context of knowing that I have a loving Father who wills my freedom, happiness, fulfilment and belonging. It is great consolation knowing and trusting that all of what I have lived is for my good, to open my heart and challenge me to hand more of my life over to him to redeem, and purify and available for him to reveal his love for the world through me. It is nice to know and trust that God will bring to fulfilment the wonderful and grand project he has for my life. And to learn to be patient, and not impose a limited view and perspective on how things are going, how friendships and relationships are progressing. The meeting went very well, and both of us were pleased with each other’s honesty in regards to all that was said and the judgment, not being pessimistic in front of the difficulties, but a trust in the love of God the father.
3. The cello concert at the Missionary sisters house was fantastic, probably one of the best and most personal performances and introductions to the various pieces performed. Many times throughout the evening we were asked to listen carefully to certain parts of the pieces, to listen for particularities, major and minor chords and scales, and the switching back and forth between them, and hold the composures used these oddities to express great emotions, or experiences of life that the regular language of music does not capture. Apolonio drove that evening, and did a fine job, we were all a little nervous, but us north Americans must learn to drive standard transmission. Upon arrival home, I went to bed immediately, knowing that game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals would begin officially at 2am Rome time. I set my cellphone alarm to wake me up at 4am, just in time to catch the third period. Upon waking up, I was a nervous wreck, knowing that I would have to undo the alarm, or risk waking the whole house up. Wouldn’t that have been a story for the ages. Well, after fiddling with the alarm, a I got it un-alarmed and preceded to the lone computer that has internet access throughout the night (International Welcoming House Lounge). I got the computer fired up and followed the action from both the TSN, NHL, and the Penguins websites. When I found out Pitt was ahead 2 zip, I fired an email off to my friend Greg, and followed nervously as the minutes and play by play action on the message bar slowly ticket down. With ten minutes to spare, I thought I was cool, and wanted to let my friends in north American I was watching the game, to illustrate my passion for the game, so I logged on an infamous chat site, and signed on as Following Game 7 action in the middle of the night from Rome. One of my good buddies back home saw that I was up, and started giving me second by second updates, where the puck was, the Red Wings hitting the post with less than a couple minutes to play. As the clocked winded down, we celebrated together, almost as good as if the Cup was brought North of the border. It is funny, since my dear friend and I have always had a little rivalry regarding who is the bigger hockey fan. Looks like we are even-steven.
4. Beato Angelico with don Massimo and Paolo DeGenaro was a real treat of an afternoon spent together. We left the house of formation at 4pm and arrived and parked near the Roman ruins, near the Coliseum. Don Massimo treated us to the tickets, and he was being his humorous self with the attendants working the cash, as well inside the museum when he went behind the area roped off and open up a door that overlooked the Piazza. Don Massimo explained how the museum used to be one of the many papal residences, which the state now owns and runs as a museum. Don Massimo gave wonderful explanations of the various pieces of artwork, highlighting the artist’s desire to recapture and reread the tradition of the Church in his artwork, with the various monastic and mendicant communities, and usage of symbolism. We were introduced to the time period, following the Medieval and Renaissance periods, and the slow dissolution of the medieval vision. We saw one of the three major Annunciation painting, and many other paintings. Before entering the exibit, there were pieces of sculptures of Emperor Constantine that were huge, and other pieces from two to three thousand years ago. It is hard to enter into the logic of this time period, and conception-alize pagan sculptures and culture. Following the museum, we went for an apperativo together, and don Massimo recommended a dry martini for me. It was great, and went well with the complementary olives the restaurant gave us. I had mentioned that my friends were coming from Washington, DC for their wedding trip, and he recommended a couple of restaurants to me. As well, as telling me various stories about certain people who work at certain restaurants and the friendships he has developed over the years. It was a lot of fun, walking around, and hanging out, it was a beautiful day, and the major work for the school year was completed. Paolo DeGenaro is always a lot of fun to be with, he was ordained a deacon this year, and was very helpful and friendly towards me when I first arrived last spring. We had some chances to go running together, and talk about the CL experience in Boston, and Washington.
5. The party at the Fraternity’s parish, the Magliana, was a blast and a half. I remember very well going last year and getting up and dancing with some of the other seminarians and the missionary sisters. This year was a little different since the parish had a band come up from Napoli to perform. Picture a weekend party with a families, lots of games and prizes, huge BBQ and lots of homemade sweets. Once mentioning that you are a seminarian with the Fraternity of St. Charles, they all get really excited and ask many questions, and offer us food, drinks, or other tasty snacks. A couple of the guys bought tickets for the draw, and I almost one. Number 96 was drawn, and I had number 69, and if you flipped the ticket upside down, you could hardly tell the difference. I showed the guys, and they encouraged me to go up and make an attempt at claiming the prize. No such luck. A couple of the people from the parish introduced themselves to me, having seen me at the various concerts, and were surprised to learn that I was from Canada. The parish pastor, don Gerry, from Ireland, is a laugh and a half, a very big and jolly man, almost like Santa Claus, but much younger, with a capacity to meet and be with people like no other, he talks with a think Irish accent, in Italian mind you. However, he recounted his seminary experience meeting Napolitano music, and its desire to express man’s yearning for the Infinite and beauty, and shared this during the final thank you of the evening. The boys who I arrived with, loved the music, and followed along with the clapping and singing. It was a lovely experience to be apart of the parish life, and see the concreteness of the families, and children present all united together with the priests and seminarians leading and teaching them in the faith.
6. Two of my friends from Washington arrived Tuesday afternoon in Rome, and after playing internet email tag for a couple of days the preceding week, in order to pick up tickets for the papal audience, we were to meet up at one of my favourite hotels in Rome, if not favourite. The hotel located at the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, is famous for being beside one of the most important churches in Rome, for the relics of the Holy Cross, and events surrounding the Passion of Christ. It is the hotel I stayed at when I came to Rome with the diocesan youth pilgrimage, and where I met up with Dr. Atkinson. This afforded me to know the ins and outs of the hotel and location, rooftop terrace, one more time rooftop terrace. After picking up their tickets at the office near the Trevi Fountain, I went to make a reservation at a nearby restaurant, probably the best restaurant in the area, Da Danilo, however they were still closed. I went back to the Church for Mass, Santa Maria Maggiore, and following a time of silence and Mass, I booked it back to the restaurant to make a reservation for the night, thinking that if I was a minute or two late, I may not get a table. Luckily I arrived without any problems, and got the reservation. Before meeting up with Erin and David, I picked up some goodies to give them a warm roman welcome, a bottle of wine and wine opener, smoked salmon and cream cheese, a nice Italian garlic bread, and gorganzolla, a cheese that the guys at the house of formation go crazy for. Upon walking to the hotel, I got a call on the cellphone, and I stepped it up a notch to get to their hotel as soon as possible. What a huge surprise it was, to see David out front of the hotel after I had called Erin from the frontdesk, I pretended to be room service, and put on my best roman Italian accent. After Erin got ready, David and I had to wait a good half hour, JJ, we went to the rooftop terrace, to relax and see Rome from one of the nicest rooftop terraces I have ever been on. It was great to show them some the site, atleast the ones I recognized, and enjoy some salmon and wine, and get caught up on the last couple of years apart, since graduation from the JPII Institute. We got the restaurant and ate like kings, David and I ordering one of the finest cuts of meat I have ever sunken my teeth into. What a treat. It was great to witness and be apart of their friendship and history, and share and reminisce of the many good times together in DC, learn about their engagement and wedding, and year teaching high school religion. Grazie Dio. After gelato near the San Francesco statue, I took the metro home.
7. Don Jonah and I had our second cribbage showdown, a real surprise event. I was about ready to get ready for bed and call it a night, when Jonah knocked on my door and asked me if I hand a couple of hands left in me before the end of the night. I got everything set up, and took out some of the sour candies that my sister sent over for me. I remember well, the evening I saw Jonah munching away on a bag of candy prior to a movies one Friday evening at the house of formation. Nice to know we have similar interests and tastes. He mentioned having heard the new Coldplay CD from the guy who is responsible for helping put together one of the movies on the missions of the Fraternity. I put on one of the disks, and we quickly got into the match. We always play the best of three, and for some funny reason, he seamed to have the right cards at the right time, and I was humbled and put in my place before going to bed. I find that these are very special occasions we are both given, to be together and be more freely ourselves. I lent him a pair of disks, and got him to listen to a little David Miles before calling it a night.
8. Road trip to Montecassino, home of St. Benedict’s monastery following the first monasteries at Subiaco. We arrived shortly before lunch, with a visiting priest from the Fraternity who is currently in Mexico, and studied and taught Italian history and culture to high school students before entering the seminary. This was a fantastic day, PPL or zio Paolo, recommended a restaurant since he is from Cassino, and we began with a feast like no other, almost sinful the quantity of food we ate. However, I have learned that meals together, and especially with friends who have been away, are very sacred times for the Italian people. After lunch, none of us could hardly walk, but it was time to meet up with our guide, a friend of the CL movement and former secretary of don Massimo, who I got to meet at the Spiritual Exercises in Rimini. Cassino is not much of a town, having been completely destroyed during the Second World War, along with the Benedictine monastery. Montecassino, home of the monastery built in the sixth century beside a pagan temple, which later became the oratory for youth, is built on a small mountain, almost as if you built a huge monastery on top of hill, hard to explain, or give an adequate description. We got the expert tour since Antonio is a good friend of the Abbot and many of the monks who live on site. We got to see where Benedict died, and how he is almost a personalized offering to God, a very Eucharistic death, as well as his cell, the medieval entrance to the monastery, many of the ruins from the devastating bombs from the WW2, meeting the Abbot of the monastery and witnessing their evening vespers, seeing their relics of the Holy Cross, and many relics of the many Benedictine saints over the course of the history of the Church, the many chalices, monstrance’s, priestly vestments, praying at the tombs of Sts. Benedict and Scholastica, the statues of the important benefactors of the Benedictine monastery, the artefacts of the pagan temple, the pictures of the many Benedictine monasteries in Europe, as well as the after shock pictures from the War, the new frescoes, the Polish cemetery. Almost two much to write, I got some nice notes in diary form. We also learned the importance of the diocese of Montecassino for the CL movement, in the early 80’s the Italian Bishops Conference did not want to recognize the movement and give it official diocesan status, very divisive against the movement, however, the Holy Father encouraged the diocese to officially recognize the movement, and there was a favour not needed to be responded to. IN the end the CL movement was recognized in the diocese, without there even being a stable community, the Holy Father sealed the deal, and a couple years later other diocese in Italy began recognizing the movement. Upon arriving home, I did a little trimming of the pathway in the back park area, where we have our olive trees.
9. Our meeting with don Massimo, I mentioned that one of the most important things I took away from me this year, is learning the nature of the seminary as a school of humanity and freedom, and my relations with my superiors, and vice rectors as being here for me. To educate me, and help to bring to fulfilment my humanity, freedom and joy. As well, as the fact that I can tend to impose a pre-conception of how things are to be, or how I ought things are to be, which at times prevents me from fully entering into the circumstances I am being asked to live, and to meet and be in front of the Mystery in times of silence, a difficulty letting reality speak. I am very grateful for the education I have received this year, even if it has been a difficult and challenging few months. All for the greater Glory of God, and the purification and sanctification of my heart.
10. The week prior to the ordinations, the limoncello that we had prepared back in February had yet to be bottled. It had been a couple of weeks since the planning of the bottling of the lemoncello began, and with exams, and the lack of interest in getting it done, it was left to the first year novices. This was a fun evening, night, beginning at 11pm and finishing close to 1am in the morning. However, when it was all said and done, we had 213 bottles of lemoncello, a very hard liqueur, but delicious in its own right. To get the liquid out of the large metal containers, we had to place the containers on a level higher than the bottles we were placing it into, as well, we had to siphon it with a tube without taking too much of it in, hard not to say that a couple of guys were hit a little hard following an hour of siphoning. One of the guys purchased really nice salami for us, and we made an nice snack out of it. The kitchen was a huge mess, I started off washing the bottles in our Hobart type dishwasher, and then got them ready for the lemoncello, the problem was that the chain of various processes got held up at the siphoning stage, a lot harder than putting bottles in the dishwasher. We were getting a little carried away at times, splashing the lemoncello on each other, and getting it in certain sensitive areas, most of the guys had to have showers before the end of the night, and many of us had sticky feet in the morning. Umberto, PPL, Facco, and Matteini, were joking around too much, and I was losing my patience. However, we got it all done, and got the kitchen cleaned up before going to bed.
11.Ordination activities began on Thursday afternoon with a group of us going into the Centro to set up for the after party, set up the stage and gates, tables, drinks, book table. This was a bit difficult, trying to work together in the hot sun, when not everybody wants to work. However, things came together nicely in the end, and we set up the stage differently from the previous year, and had to throw a little wait around to get the stage flooring in place, that a boy Giuliano. Unfortunately on the way home to attend the swearing on obedience to the superiors, we got into a small accident, bumping into the back of a car. We arrived late, but in time for the special rite during the Mass. It was a beautiful experience, to see the five men commit themselves for the rest of their lives to being obedient to the superiors of the Fraternity. A very interesting experience, the concreteness of the form of obedience as a pathway to one’s freedom. Don Massimo gave an excellent homily, on the nature of sonship and obedience, and how everything we are and do passes by way of our reason and freedom, we are called to take everything into account, when we say Yes to the Mystery. Following dinner, many of us watched the Italian-Egypt soccer game, it was nice to hang out with Pietro Rossotti, who I met while studying in DC, and at various CL activities in the USA.
Friday was spent preparing and reviewing the plans for the service team at Santa Maria Maggiore. I was given the responsibility along with Matteo Corbelli, to welcome and sit the families of the ordinandi, as well as the VIP guests, create pathways up the centre aisle for the procession in and out of the Church. After reviewing the plans and getting everything coordinated, we went back to the house. The house of formation had a very warm and welcoming atmosphere during the weekend, with many friends and family members staying at the house, as well as many friends of the seminarians, and some of the guys who would enter the following year. Following lunch, I was asked to help Tomasso, a fella’ from Milano, who will enter next year, set up the automatic watering system for our plants and trees that we planted back in December. I happened to be quite tired, and working out in the sun was the last thing I wanted to do, but agreed to help out. These are very interesting watering systems, all run by Britta type filters, and a battery system that opens a mechanism the size of a hockey puck, which lets water pass. Very important that the water is filtered so that the mouth which lets the water pass for the recommended time periods is able to open and shut cleanly. Any dirt or other fragments can get in and prevent the system from working accordingly. Tommy and I had to dip a small trench between the two rows of olive trees, as well as dig and place the underground tubing. I enjoyed very much working with Tommy, and look forward to his arrival in the fall.
Friday morning also marked the official beginning of the year dedicated to the priesthood. We had a morning Mass together at the chapel celebrated with Paolo Pezzi, Archbishop of the Mother of God Diocese in Moscow. It was nice to have a moment before leaving to the Church, to fire off a couple of emails to AK, AH, TB, and a couple others.
Following dinner Friday evening, a couple of us went out for a drink together at a nearby pub. This was a little frustrating since when I first asked, the guys did not really want to tell me where they were going. It is one of the hardest things to experience when one has the desire to be with and participate with the common life with the guys at the house, and not be invited, or almost be excluded from the get together. I remember having to go to the bathroom, and looking in the mirror and saying to myself, what in the world must I do to experience the belonging I am looking for, why the heck does it have to be so difficult, and why are there so many obstacles on the path. When they were in the car, they told me if I wanted to come, I could, so I went to get my wallet. Upon returning, they took off when I got to the door, front entrance of the house of formation, and all started laughing. I said to myself, is it really worth it, do I have to endure this ridicule to be a part of this friendship. They slowed down, just before going out of eyesight and waited for me to make a decision. I decided that I had to go, even if my emotions and head were not completely in check.
Saturday morning, following morning prayer we had less than an hour to get our suits, and everything ready to be in the car to leave for the setup of the Church and final dry run for the Ordination Mass. Following the rehearsal, we had less than an hour to be in our designated spots, get dressed in our suits, and grab a bite to eat (for those lucky enough). I remembered the place where we went last year during the brief lunch break before the ordinations, a little pizzeria in front of the Redemptorist Church dedicated to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, with the original icon. The fellow who went with me, was overly nervous about not having enough time, and was hesitant to follow me, however came along the same. As we sat down to eat our pizza, we said a quick prayer for the ordinations and a blessing for the food. Before I was finished eating, he got up and started going back to the Church, while I finished my pizza. My responsibility as main usher to the area dedicated to the families, afforded me many perks, being able to meet and greet all the families of the men being ordained and the distinguished guests and friends of the fraternity. I had a great spot to take in the Mass, and loved the entrance and closing processions. It is a really special experience to see the concreteness and diversity within the fraternity, many of the priests came from parts of Europe and north America came to Rome for the celebration, and having our first ordinations led by the first bishop of the fraternity was very exciting. At times throughout the Mass, I enjoyed contemplating the mystery and grandeur of the priesthood, you could not help it, all the questions and uncertainties, all the wonderful experiences and friendships that I have lived since my arrival at the house of formation, last May. It is hard to express the emotions and thoughts that went through my head that afternoon, probably best described as an experience which its significance and meaning will be deepened and illumined in time, and not get too hung up, if there were not any amazing mystical experiences. One of the parts of the ordination rite that is quite spectacular and sacramental, is the laying of hands on the ordination candidates. Following the ordination rite, the laying of hands by the bishop, and the conferral of the order of priesthood upon the candidates, each of the priests is invited to lay their hands on and pray over the newly ordained priests and deacons. This is great symbolic gesture of the unity of the priesthood, all participating in the one priesthood of Christ, a welcoming of the newly ordained men, into the one sacramental priesthood. This helped me to better understand the concreteness of what participating in a fraternity, and the priesthood is all about, the centrality of Christ, of his priesthood, and the gift of being able to participate and live one’s life in this way. It is always something given by another, something that is also for another and for the life of the world.
The after party was a lot of fun at the Centre, where we had done the set up Thursday afternoon. A couple of the highlights include having a great talk with don Jose Medina, who is currently working and living in Boston. We developed a friendship during my final year at the Institute, and been in touch a little bit by email. It was great to share some of the experiences I lived during the year, and get caught up with his life and that of the house in Boston. We had an all-American picture, with the newly ordained priest and deacon who spent last year living in the USA. The frizzies were fantastic, and we even got Paolo Pezzi up on the stage for a couple words and dance moves. The environment was great, very refreshing and cool, in respect to last year’s very hot weather. Before leaving and packing up, one of the men ordained to the deaconate, held a party for his many friends from GS in Rome, we all had pizza and beer, and got to hang out with John from Boston., a friend of Christopher’s who met each other during the GS winter vacation at Matawinie. Returning home, there was another party at our house in the park for another newly ordained deacon. This was the party that toped them all. He is from northern Italy, where they sing a lot of traditional Alpine mountain songs. Picture a couple of generations of a family all singing together, over grappa, and BBQ treats, there were close to 150 people in the park, it was a great environment to celebrate and meet many new people. I enjoyed hanging out with Tomasso, who I worked with in the garden the preceding day, and will enter next fall. These songs are well know by all in the movement in Italy, for many if not all, have attended a vacation in the Italian mountains. Giussani loved these songs, representing the heart of a common life and experience together, music from the war, and of a people.
Sunday night, I got to take the car into Battistini, drive solo for the first time. I remember asking don Jonah, and him telling me to make absolutely certain that I bring back the car in one piece. I was a little nervous at the beginning, it is tricky with the traffic and little hills with a standard transmission. I was to go into the city and meet and have dinner with my friends from DC, Eric and David. We met near the Pantheon and had a nice walk to the Piazza Navona, and surrounding areas. We had a little difficulty trying to find a restaurant in the area, however, we ended up returning to the restaurant where I ate with Marcus and Cleuza when they visited the seminary and gave a presentation back in December. I was happy I had the little restaurant card in my wallet. We had another lovely evening together, getting to learn about all their crazy and wild adventures in Assisi and partaking in the Eucharistic procession from Santa Maria Maggiore to San Giovanni Laterano. We also got to see the Brazilians beat up on the Italians in soccer. They are a very special couple, and inspiring to live a life of holiness together. Am I ever blessed to have been given good friends, who help to reveal the mystery of God’s love for the world.
12. Rafal spent the week of June 22nd to the 26th at the house of formation as a time of repose following his university program. This week also coincided with the first week of manual work around the house, painting and preparing rooms for the incoming seminarians, as well as a lot of work and projects that don’t get done during the year (throwing out old books, moving boxes of movies and books from room to room). I had a lot of fun hosting Raf during the week, was a little bit nervous about the amount of time and attention I could afford to give him, in light of the proposed work and daily life at the house of formation. However, he quickly settled into the more tranquil environment and told me he thought the week was exactly what he needed, a little retreat and time of quiet and stillness, hard to believe Raf would like something like that, JJ. We were able to pray the rosary a couple of times together, sit and read in the sun in the park, drink some beers over a couple of soccer games, go to the beach for an afternoon and have him ride shotgun. I was happy that he got to meet many of my friends, and see the life that I am living and the type of priestly vocation that I am discerning and in front of. He was a real protagonist during the week, getting to know many of the priests and fellow seminarians, it is in his blood, his ability to talk soccer and critique the Italians, his knowledge of Italian history and politics. It was great to see him dialogue with the guys. Raf would leave for Poland early Friday morning, catching a ride with Cristof to the airport who was flying to Jerusalem. I was excited to give his a rosary before leaving early Friday morning, and having him read Wendell Berry’s book, I think I may have him hooked. The meals we had together, especially the early morning breakfast on the last day, banging on his door to get him up for Mass, and other little things. Great week together.
To end off, I want to express a profound sentiment of gratitude for everything I lived during this year, and for all those people who have accompanied me along the way. Your emails, messages, letters and discussions on the phone were a sure blessing for me during the year. Thanks for the prayers, and thoughts and other gestures towards me and my discernment of this path for my life. I hope that these words and reflections, judgments have been a help at giving one a glimpse at everything I am living, and what is in front of me, the type of life and path that I am being asked to consider as a way of life, happiness, friendship and to build the Church.
We are truly Together on the Road,
JR
John Roderick
July 6th 2009
It is a real treat to be able to write the witness for the month of June, of my experience during the novitiate year at the house of formation for the Fraternity of St. Charles, from Colle Santa Lucia, in the north eastern mountains which form the border between Italy and Austria, otherwise known as the dolomites. The first year students are here for a two week time of rest and repose, with the founder and superior general of the Fraternity, and our two vice rectors.
Looking back on the month of June, this particular period of time can best be described as the rounding of the final curve of a long race, possibility even a marathon. One can see and taste the satisfaction of completing the tasks and work at hand, while at the same time recognizing the work and energy required to reach the end goal. Following a very rocky month of May, I was looking forward very much to completing all the work at hand, and having the summer months to be with and in front of everything I lived during the year, in order to allow my comprehension and judgment to mature. While at the same time, trying to be present and give myself completely to everything that was being asked of me, and being obedient to the daily life of the community.
The month of June began with a bang, on June 1st I had my exam with Philip Larry on the philosophy of knowledge, as well as a surprise meeting up with Michelle Boras, who was staying at the house of formation for a week, and the attending of a piano concert by Miriam Conti at the house of the Missionary sisters of St. Charles. During the first week of the month, don Jonah asked all the guys in first year to meet with him individually and give a personal judgment on the year. From the notes I prepared for this judgment on the year flow much of the present testimony. On Friday June 5th, I completed my final oral exam of the year, Medieval philosophy with Giuliano D’Onofrio, and following completion of the post exam celebration at a Siciliano dolceria, near the Basilica St. Clemente, where I bumped into my good friend from Saint John, Rafal Szyminski. The first Saturday of the month June 6th, I had the special delight of accompanying don Massimo, and Paolo Degenaro, ordained deacon in June, to a Beato Angelico exhibit at the Piazza Campiolio (huge statue of Marco Aurelio). On Sunday June 7th, a group of us attended the end of the year party at the Fraternity’s parish at the Magliana, where there was lots of good snacks, prizes to be won, and Napolitano music (Pedroli, Umbe, Matteini, Facchini and I). On Tuesday June 9th, I presented my paper on the metaphysics of common sense to Antonio Levi, and later in the afternoon ventured into the city to pick up tickets for the weekly papal audience near the Trevi fountain, for two of my friends from Washington, DC (David and Erin Graver), who were arriving in Rome for their viaggio di nozze (honeymoon). After meeting up at their hotel near-beside the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, we went for a little tour and dinner Da Danilo, and gelato before calling it a night. On Wednesday June 10th, we held our final house meeting for the year with don Massimo, on the meaning and importance of asking permission to go out at night and leave the seminary grounds. On Thursday June 11th , I participated in a Cribbage showdown with don Jonah, and introduced him to music by Coldplay and David Miles, we ate some of the sour candies that my dear sister Marie Claire had sent to me a couple weeks previously. On Friday June 12th, I went to the final concert of the year at the missionary sisters, a cellist named Giacomo Grava, as well attended to following the action of Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals between the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroit Red Wings (that a boy Sydney, sorry Henkel you’ll have to wait for next year). Saturday June 13th was spent making a road trip to Cassino and Montecassino where the monastery of St. Benedict is located, and having the opportunity to meet the abbot of the monastery, and seeing the relics and learning the history, and importance of the relation regarding the official diocesan recognition of Communion and Liberation (Gianni Brambilla from Mexico). On Monday June 15th we had our final Caminetto with don Massimo for the year, meeting outside in the park, and him asking what is the most important thing we are taking home with us from the year at the house of formation. On Tuesday June 16th, the first year guys were given the responsibility of bottling the 150 litres of Limoncello, that were prepared back in the early spring, to have ready to sell and make available for the ordinations. On Wednesday June 17th, I was given the responsibility of driving the guys in first year to the beach, a little nervous driving on the highways, first year completion party at the beach with don Jonah, as well as getting time in the morning to hang out and go running with DJ. The weekend of June 18th -21st was dedicated to preparation and ordination activities, every year, the guys in the early years of the seminary formation are responsible for all the preparation and planning of the after party at the Centro, preparing for the ordination Mass itself at Santa Maria Maggiore, and the first Mass which was held at our parish called the Navicella (Church where don Antonio Lopez celebrated Mass for the Insititute for the conference in 2006). On Sunday evening, I was permitted to take the car solo into Battistini to meet up with David and Erin for supper, and to hear about their week in Assisi. The final week in June 22nd to the 26th was dedicated to working around the house of formation, moving furniture and getting rooms ready to be painted, painting, and prep work for the fall, we are expecting 12-13 new first year novices in the fall, and their rooms need to be painted and adequately prepared. Also during the final week of June, I was blessed to have Rafal spend the week at the house of formation -the International Welcoming house, Casa di Accoglienza, we had a ball hanging out, going to the beach, watching a couple of soccer games, and praying the rosary in the sun. The final days of the month of June were dedicated to preparing for the first year novices vacation at Colle Santa Lucia, in the north-eastern Italian mountains, where the Italian troops fought against the Hungarian-Austrian alliance. The month of June brought to conclusion the year dedicated to the study of the life of St. Paul and his teachings, and the beginning of the year dedicated to priests and the priesthood, to the renewal and recovery of the mystery and grandeur of the priesthood. Reading for the month included the completion of Is it Possible to live this Way?, The Religious Sense, some of Giussani’s first writings and articles from his teaching days at Venegono, and at Liceo Berchet, the second book of the history of Communion and Liberation, Josef Holzner’s Apostle Paul and the Holy Father’s catechesis on Paul, Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, Claudel’s Commentary on the Apostles’ Creed, and Melina and Noriega’s book, which don Konrad gave to me.
1. It was a real treat to begin the month with the arrival of Michelle Boras at the house of formation. I met her in the park during a run, and I almost ran completely by her without taking notice of her, since she was staying in the house of St. Joseph. She had come to Rome from Germany, to meet and visit with old friends from the John Paul II Institute and friends who she had met during her years at home, she had met and made close friendships with a number of priests from the Fraternity. It was refreshing to get caught up on her experience living and following the life of the Community of St. John in Germany, learning more about the concrete life they are living, and their vision of living in the world. One thing that has remained in my heart from these days is a story she told telling her meeting with the former secretary of von Balthasar and von Speyr. She asked her how can I make more time, or add more prayer time to my daily life, and the response was the following, “the way to look at one’s life with the above question, is to ask how can I open my prayer life, relationship and dialogue with God to include more and take up more of the daily practical aspects of life”. The contemplative life, living one’s relation with God, is not about adding more prayers at the beginning or end of the day, but to open this special relationship to include more and more of who I am, and what I do, and what I treasure. This has been a constant theme for me during this year, in particular from readings regarding the liturgy, and the praying of the divine office, and in particular from Augustine’s Confessions, and use of the psalms as a framework to see, understand, and deepen one’s comprehension of one’s relation to God within the Church, to read one’s life with, and within the structure and giveness of the history and tradition of the Church.
I also completed my exam for Philip Larry on this day, a very kind and generous teacher from the United States. I brought a picture I had taken from a carnival I had attended with the other guys in first year during our study weekend at our country house in Porchiano. The picture was of what looked like to be a time machine. Prof. Larry is a science enthusiast, and often talked about science, technology and its affect on man. I brought it, and explained how it related to the chapter on the soul and its faculties, and some of the dangers and red flags that are brought when in contemporary science. He really appreciated the thoughtfulness of the discussion, and when I asked when we could begin the exam, he said that the conversation had would suffice for a grade, having demonstrated that I had taken the material and thought about its practical implications, and relevance to the many discussions had during class time.
Back in May, Jonah and I shook on taking him for a drive at the beginning of the month of June. I was given the opportunity to take the Panda, a whole story in itself, a car no bigger than the dinky cars I used to play with as a kid, to drive to the missionary sisters house, along with Apolonio and Matteo Corbelli (roommate when I first arrived in Rome last spring). There were no troubles with the driving, which was a nice relief, pleased that I got all of them to the concert on time, and alive. Roman traffic is a whole different story compared to driving in Saint John. The missionary sisters put on a series of concerts at their home, welcoming friends from their parish, benefactors and priests and seminarians from the Fraternity. The community has two girls who wear habits, and the superior studied piano in Milano before asking to start the community, and she has many of her friends come to the house to play and have concerts, sharing the beauty and passion, and friendship with the community. Two polish sisters who were friends of Sr. Rachelle performed an hour long recital, with commentary on the pieces and timeframe of their composure. It was nice to talk with Kristen, Michelle and Apolonio about our north American perspective and vision of Italy, and Italian traditions and ways of life.
2. The personal judgment of the first year at the house of formation took place early Saturday morning in the park, amidst a windstorm. We both decided that it would be more personal and comfortable meeting outside, knowing our common passion for being outside, and history working together in the park. It was a real treat to share everything that had been on my heart during the month of May, the difficulties and uncertainties, and struggles, but also the wonderful surprises I was blessed by. I framed my judgment around two themes, that of education and surprise. I am still in awe with the education I received this year, a very different type of education than that which I have received in the past. An education not overly focused on reading great books and following great professors at the university, but one focused more on personal and concrete experience, the experience of seeking belonging, understanding and freedom, the making sense of one’s life in light of the free decision to come to Rome and seek a vocation with the Fraternity. An education rooted in silence, looking at and staying in front of what one lives, and what one is attracted to, and asking why is it that I am attracted to this, how does this make sense in light of everything I have lived in the past, and all of my experience, why do I have certain unforeseen struggles with relationships with other seminarians and superiors. A whole can of worms that one does not in any way expect to arise. However at the same time, very important since has enabled this experience to be more my own, to live it with a greater awareness of my dependence on the Mystery, and learning that I am indeed a beggar, and not a very good one. Some of the difficulties with being away from home, and friends, a little nostalgia for what is familiar and worked in the past. All in this seen in the framework and context of knowing that I have a loving Father who wills my freedom, happiness, fulfilment and belonging. It is great consolation knowing and trusting that all of what I have lived is for my good, to open my heart and challenge me to hand more of my life over to him to redeem, and purify and available for him to reveal his love for the world through me. It is nice to know and trust that God will bring to fulfilment the wonderful and grand project he has for my life. And to learn to be patient, and not impose a limited view and perspective on how things are going, how friendships and relationships are progressing. The meeting went very well, and both of us were pleased with each other’s honesty in regards to all that was said and the judgment, not being pessimistic in front of the difficulties, but a trust in the love of God the father.
3. The cello concert at the Missionary sisters house was fantastic, probably one of the best and most personal performances and introductions to the various pieces performed. Many times throughout the evening we were asked to listen carefully to certain parts of the pieces, to listen for particularities, major and minor chords and scales, and the switching back and forth between them, and hold the composures used these oddities to express great emotions, or experiences of life that the regular language of music does not capture. Apolonio drove that evening, and did a fine job, we were all a little nervous, but us north Americans must learn to drive standard transmission. Upon arrival home, I went to bed immediately, knowing that game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals would begin officially at 2am Rome time. I set my cellphone alarm to wake me up at 4am, just in time to catch the third period. Upon waking up, I was a nervous wreck, knowing that I would have to undo the alarm, or risk waking the whole house up. Wouldn’t that have been a story for the ages. Well, after fiddling with the alarm, a I got it un-alarmed and preceded to the lone computer that has internet access throughout the night (International Welcoming House Lounge). I got the computer fired up and followed the action from both the TSN, NHL, and the Penguins websites. When I found out Pitt was ahead 2 zip, I fired an email off to my friend Greg, and followed nervously as the minutes and play by play action on the message bar slowly ticket down. With ten minutes to spare, I thought I was cool, and wanted to let my friends in north American I was watching the game, to illustrate my passion for the game, so I logged on an infamous chat site, and signed on as Following Game 7 action in the middle of the night from Rome. One of my good buddies back home saw that I was up, and started giving me second by second updates, where the puck was, the Red Wings hitting the post with less than a couple minutes to play. As the clocked winded down, we celebrated together, almost as good as if the Cup was brought North of the border. It is funny, since my dear friend and I have always had a little rivalry regarding who is the bigger hockey fan. Looks like we are even-steven.
4. Beato Angelico with don Massimo and Paolo DeGenaro was a real treat of an afternoon spent together. We left the house of formation at 4pm and arrived and parked near the Roman ruins, near the Coliseum. Don Massimo treated us to the tickets, and he was being his humorous self with the attendants working the cash, as well inside the museum when he went behind the area roped off and open up a door that overlooked the Piazza. Don Massimo explained how the museum used to be one of the many papal residences, which the state now owns and runs as a museum. Don Massimo gave wonderful explanations of the various pieces of artwork, highlighting the artist’s desire to recapture and reread the tradition of the Church in his artwork, with the various monastic and mendicant communities, and usage of symbolism. We were introduced to the time period, following the Medieval and Renaissance periods, and the slow dissolution of the medieval vision. We saw one of the three major Annunciation painting, and many other paintings. Before entering the exibit, there were pieces of sculptures of Emperor Constantine that were huge, and other pieces from two to three thousand years ago. It is hard to enter into the logic of this time period, and conception-alize pagan sculptures and culture. Following the museum, we went for an apperativo together, and don Massimo recommended a dry martini for me. It was great, and went well with the complementary olives the restaurant gave us. I had mentioned that my friends were coming from Washington, DC for their wedding trip, and he recommended a couple of restaurants to me. As well, as telling me various stories about certain people who work at certain restaurants and the friendships he has developed over the years. It was a lot of fun, walking around, and hanging out, it was a beautiful day, and the major work for the school year was completed. Paolo DeGenaro is always a lot of fun to be with, he was ordained a deacon this year, and was very helpful and friendly towards me when I first arrived last spring. We had some chances to go running together, and talk about the CL experience in Boston, and Washington.
5. The party at the Fraternity’s parish, the Magliana, was a blast and a half. I remember very well going last year and getting up and dancing with some of the other seminarians and the missionary sisters. This year was a little different since the parish had a band come up from Napoli to perform. Picture a weekend party with a families, lots of games and prizes, huge BBQ and lots of homemade sweets. Once mentioning that you are a seminarian with the Fraternity of St. Charles, they all get really excited and ask many questions, and offer us food, drinks, or other tasty snacks. A couple of the guys bought tickets for the draw, and I almost one. Number 96 was drawn, and I had number 69, and if you flipped the ticket upside down, you could hardly tell the difference. I showed the guys, and they encouraged me to go up and make an attempt at claiming the prize. No such luck. A couple of the people from the parish introduced themselves to me, having seen me at the various concerts, and were surprised to learn that I was from Canada. The parish pastor, don Gerry, from Ireland, is a laugh and a half, a very big and jolly man, almost like Santa Claus, but much younger, with a capacity to meet and be with people like no other, he talks with a think Irish accent, in Italian mind you. However, he recounted his seminary experience meeting Napolitano music, and its desire to express man’s yearning for the Infinite and beauty, and shared this during the final thank you of the evening. The boys who I arrived with, loved the music, and followed along with the clapping and singing. It was a lovely experience to be apart of the parish life, and see the concreteness of the families, and children present all united together with the priests and seminarians leading and teaching them in the faith.
6. Two of my friends from Washington arrived Tuesday afternoon in Rome, and after playing internet email tag for a couple of days the preceding week, in order to pick up tickets for the papal audience, we were to meet up at one of my favourite hotels in Rome, if not favourite. The hotel located at the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, is famous for being beside one of the most important churches in Rome, for the relics of the Holy Cross, and events surrounding the Passion of Christ. It is the hotel I stayed at when I came to Rome with the diocesan youth pilgrimage, and where I met up with Dr. Atkinson. This afforded me to know the ins and outs of the hotel and location, rooftop terrace, one more time rooftop terrace. After picking up their tickets at the office near the Trevi Fountain, I went to make a reservation at a nearby restaurant, probably the best restaurant in the area, Da Danilo, however they were still closed. I went back to the Church for Mass, Santa Maria Maggiore, and following a time of silence and Mass, I booked it back to the restaurant to make a reservation for the night, thinking that if I was a minute or two late, I may not get a table. Luckily I arrived without any problems, and got the reservation. Before meeting up with Erin and David, I picked up some goodies to give them a warm roman welcome, a bottle of wine and wine opener, smoked salmon and cream cheese, a nice Italian garlic bread, and gorganzolla, a cheese that the guys at the house of formation go crazy for. Upon walking to the hotel, I got a call on the cellphone, and I stepped it up a notch to get to their hotel as soon as possible. What a huge surprise it was, to see David out front of the hotel after I had called Erin from the frontdesk, I pretended to be room service, and put on my best roman Italian accent. After Erin got ready, David and I had to wait a good half hour, JJ, we went to the rooftop terrace, to relax and see Rome from one of the nicest rooftop terraces I have ever been on. It was great to show them some the site, atleast the ones I recognized, and enjoy some salmon and wine, and get caught up on the last couple of years apart, since graduation from the JPII Institute. We got the restaurant and ate like kings, David and I ordering one of the finest cuts of meat I have ever sunken my teeth into. What a treat. It was great to witness and be apart of their friendship and history, and share and reminisce of the many good times together in DC, learn about their engagement and wedding, and year teaching high school religion. Grazie Dio. After gelato near the San Francesco statue, I took the metro home.
7. Don Jonah and I had our second cribbage showdown, a real surprise event. I was about ready to get ready for bed and call it a night, when Jonah knocked on my door and asked me if I hand a couple of hands left in me before the end of the night. I got everything set up, and took out some of the sour candies that my sister sent over for me. I remember well, the evening I saw Jonah munching away on a bag of candy prior to a movies one Friday evening at the house of formation. Nice to know we have similar interests and tastes. He mentioned having heard the new Coldplay CD from the guy who is responsible for helping put together one of the movies on the missions of the Fraternity. I put on one of the disks, and we quickly got into the match. We always play the best of three, and for some funny reason, he seamed to have the right cards at the right time, and I was humbled and put in my place before going to bed. I find that these are very special occasions we are both given, to be together and be more freely ourselves. I lent him a pair of disks, and got him to listen to a little David Miles before calling it a night.
8. Road trip to Montecassino, home of St. Benedict’s monastery following the first monasteries at Subiaco. We arrived shortly before lunch, with a visiting priest from the Fraternity who is currently in Mexico, and studied and taught Italian history and culture to high school students before entering the seminary. This was a fantastic day, PPL or zio Paolo, recommended a restaurant since he is from Cassino, and we began with a feast like no other, almost sinful the quantity of food we ate. However, I have learned that meals together, and especially with friends who have been away, are very sacred times for the Italian people. After lunch, none of us could hardly walk, but it was time to meet up with our guide, a friend of the CL movement and former secretary of don Massimo, who I got to meet at the Spiritual Exercises in Rimini. Cassino is not much of a town, having been completely destroyed during the Second World War, along with the Benedictine monastery. Montecassino, home of the monastery built in the sixth century beside a pagan temple, which later became the oratory for youth, is built on a small mountain, almost as if you built a huge monastery on top of hill, hard to explain, or give an adequate description. We got the expert tour since Antonio is a good friend of the Abbot and many of the monks who live on site. We got to see where Benedict died, and how he is almost a personalized offering to God, a very Eucharistic death, as well as his cell, the medieval entrance to the monastery, many of the ruins from the devastating bombs from the WW2, meeting the Abbot of the monastery and witnessing their evening vespers, seeing their relics of the Holy Cross, and many relics of the many Benedictine saints over the course of the history of the Church, the many chalices, monstrance’s, priestly vestments, praying at the tombs of Sts. Benedict and Scholastica, the statues of the important benefactors of the Benedictine monastery, the artefacts of the pagan temple, the pictures of the many Benedictine monasteries in Europe, as well as the after shock pictures from the War, the new frescoes, the Polish cemetery. Almost two much to write, I got some nice notes in diary form. We also learned the importance of the diocese of Montecassino for the CL movement, in the early 80’s the Italian Bishops Conference did not want to recognize the movement and give it official diocesan status, very divisive against the movement, however, the Holy Father encouraged the diocese to officially recognize the movement, and there was a favour not needed to be responded to. IN the end the CL movement was recognized in the diocese, without there even being a stable community, the Holy Father sealed the deal, and a couple years later other diocese in Italy began recognizing the movement. Upon arriving home, I did a little trimming of the pathway in the back park area, where we have our olive trees.
9. Our meeting with don Massimo, I mentioned that one of the most important things I took away from me this year, is learning the nature of the seminary as a school of humanity and freedom, and my relations with my superiors, and vice rectors as being here for me. To educate me, and help to bring to fulfilment my humanity, freedom and joy. As well, as the fact that I can tend to impose a pre-conception of how things are to be, or how I ought things are to be, which at times prevents me from fully entering into the circumstances I am being asked to live, and to meet and be in front of the Mystery in times of silence, a difficulty letting reality speak. I am very grateful for the education I have received this year, even if it has been a difficult and challenging few months. All for the greater Glory of God, and the purification and sanctification of my heart.
10. The week prior to the ordinations, the limoncello that we had prepared back in February had yet to be bottled. It had been a couple of weeks since the planning of the bottling of the lemoncello began, and with exams, and the lack of interest in getting it done, it was left to the first year novices. This was a fun evening, night, beginning at 11pm and finishing close to 1am in the morning. However, when it was all said and done, we had 213 bottles of lemoncello, a very hard liqueur, but delicious in its own right. To get the liquid out of the large metal containers, we had to place the containers on a level higher than the bottles we were placing it into, as well, we had to siphon it with a tube without taking too much of it in, hard not to say that a couple of guys were hit a little hard following an hour of siphoning. One of the guys purchased really nice salami for us, and we made an nice snack out of it. The kitchen was a huge mess, I started off washing the bottles in our Hobart type dishwasher, and then got them ready for the lemoncello, the problem was that the chain of various processes got held up at the siphoning stage, a lot harder than putting bottles in the dishwasher. We were getting a little carried away at times, splashing the lemoncello on each other, and getting it in certain sensitive areas, most of the guys had to have showers before the end of the night, and many of us had sticky feet in the morning. Umberto, PPL, Facco, and Matteini, were joking around too much, and I was losing my patience. However, we got it all done, and got the kitchen cleaned up before going to bed.
11.Ordination activities began on Thursday afternoon with a group of us going into the Centro to set up for the after party, set up the stage and gates, tables, drinks, book table. This was a bit difficult, trying to work together in the hot sun, when not everybody wants to work. However, things came together nicely in the end, and we set up the stage differently from the previous year, and had to throw a little wait around to get the stage flooring in place, that a boy Giuliano. Unfortunately on the way home to attend the swearing on obedience to the superiors, we got into a small accident, bumping into the back of a car. We arrived late, but in time for the special rite during the Mass. It was a beautiful experience, to see the five men commit themselves for the rest of their lives to being obedient to the superiors of the Fraternity. A very interesting experience, the concreteness of the form of obedience as a pathway to one’s freedom. Don Massimo gave an excellent homily, on the nature of sonship and obedience, and how everything we are and do passes by way of our reason and freedom, we are called to take everything into account, when we say Yes to the Mystery. Following dinner, many of us watched the Italian-Egypt soccer game, it was nice to hang out with Pietro Rossotti, who I met while studying in DC, and at various CL activities in the USA.
Friday was spent preparing and reviewing the plans for the service team at Santa Maria Maggiore. I was given the responsibility along with Matteo Corbelli, to welcome and sit the families of the ordinandi, as well as the VIP guests, create pathways up the centre aisle for the procession in and out of the Church. After reviewing the plans and getting everything coordinated, we went back to the house. The house of formation had a very warm and welcoming atmosphere during the weekend, with many friends and family members staying at the house, as well as many friends of the seminarians, and some of the guys who would enter the following year. Following lunch, I was asked to help Tomasso, a fella’ from Milano, who will enter next year, set up the automatic watering system for our plants and trees that we planted back in December. I happened to be quite tired, and working out in the sun was the last thing I wanted to do, but agreed to help out. These are very interesting watering systems, all run by Britta type filters, and a battery system that opens a mechanism the size of a hockey puck, which lets water pass. Very important that the water is filtered so that the mouth which lets the water pass for the recommended time periods is able to open and shut cleanly. Any dirt or other fragments can get in and prevent the system from working accordingly. Tommy and I had to dip a small trench between the two rows of olive trees, as well as dig and place the underground tubing. I enjoyed very much working with Tommy, and look forward to his arrival in the fall.
Friday morning also marked the official beginning of the year dedicated to the priesthood. We had a morning Mass together at the chapel celebrated with Paolo Pezzi, Archbishop of the Mother of God Diocese in Moscow. It was nice to have a moment before leaving to the Church, to fire off a couple of emails to AK, AH, TB, and a couple others.
Following dinner Friday evening, a couple of us went out for a drink together at a nearby pub. This was a little frustrating since when I first asked, the guys did not really want to tell me where they were going. It is one of the hardest things to experience when one has the desire to be with and participate with the common life with the guys at the house, and not be invited, or almost be excluded from the get together. I remember having to go to the bathroom, and looking in the mirror and saying to myself, what in the world must I do to experience the belonging I am looking for, why the heck does it have to be so difficult, and why are there so many obstacles on the path. When they were in the car, they told me if I wanted to come, I could, so I went to get my wallet. Upon returning, they took off when I got to the door, front entrance of the house of formation, and all started laughing. I said to myself, is it really worth it, do I have to endure this ridicule to be a part of this friendship. They slowed down, just before going out of eyesight and waited for me to make a decision. I decided that I had to go, even if my emotions and head were not completely in check.
Saturday morning, following morning prayer we had less than an hour to get our suits, and everything ready to be in the car to leave for the setup of the Church and final dry run for the Ordination Mass. Following the rehearsal, we had less than an hour to be in our designated spots, get dressed in our suits, and grab a bite to eat (for those lucky enough). I remembered the place where we went last year during the brief lunch break before the ordinations, a little pizzeria in front of the Redemptorist Church dedicated to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, with the original icon. The fellow who went with me, was overly nervous about not having enough time, and was hesitant to follow me, however came along the same. As we sat down to eat our pizza, we said a quick prayer for the ordinations and a blessing for the food. Before I was finished eating, he got up and started going back to the Church, while I finished my pizza. My responsibility as main usher to the area dedicated to the families, afforded me many perks, being able to meet and greet all the families of the men being ordained and the distinguished guests and friends of the fraternity. I had a great spot to take in the Mass, and loved the entrance and closing processions. It is a really special experience to see the concreteness and diversity within the fraternity, many of the priests came from parts of Europe and north America came to Rome for the celebration, and having our first ordinations led by the first bishop of the fraternity was very exciting. At times throughout the Mass, I enjoyed contemplating the mystery and grandeur of the priesthood, you could not help it, all the questions and uncertainties, all the wonderful experiences and friendships that I have lived since my arrival at the house of formation, last May. It is hard to express the emotions and thoughts that went through my head that afternoon, probably best described as an experience which its significance and meaning will be deepened and illumined in time, and not get too hung up, if there were not any amazing mystical experiences. One of the parts of the ordination rite that is quite spectacular and sacramental, is the laying of hands on the ordination candidates. Following the ordination rite, the laying of hands by the bishop, and the conferral of the order of priesthood upon the candidates, each of the priests is invited to lay their hands on and pray over the newly ordained priests and deacons. This is great symbolic gesture of the unity of the priesthood, all participating in the one priesthood of Christ, a welcoming of the newly ordained men, into the one sacramental priesthood. This helped me to better understand the concreteness of what participating in a fraternity, and the priesthood is all about, the centrality of Christ, of his priesthood, and the gift of being able to participate and live one’s life in this way. It is always something given by another, something that is also for another and for the life of the world.
The after party was a lot of fun at the Centre, where we had done the set up Thursday afternoon. A couple of the highlights include having a great talk with don Jose Medina, who is currently working and living in Boston. We developed a friendship during my final year at the Institute, and been in touch a little bit by email. It was great to share some of the experiences I lived during the year, and get caught up with his life and that of the house in Boston. We had an all-American picture, with the newly ordained priest and deacon who spent last year living in the USA. The frizzies were fantastic, and we even got Paolo Pezzi up on the stage for a couple words and dance moves. The environment was great, very refreshing and cool, in respect to last year’s very hot weather. Before leaving and packing up, one of the men ordained to the deaconate, held a party for his many friends from GS in Rome, we all had pizza and beer, and got to hang out with John from Boston., a friend of Christopher’s who met each other during the GS winter vacation at Matawinie. Returning home, there was another party at our house in the park for another newly ordained deacon. This was the party that toped them all. He is from northern Italy, where they sing a lot of traditional Alpine mountain songs. Picture a couple of generations of a family all singing together, over grappa, and BBQ treats, there were close to 150 people in the park, it was a great environment to celebrate and meet many new people. I enjoyed hanging out with Tomasso, who I worked with in the garden the preceding day, and will enter next fall. These songs are well know by all in the movement in Italy, for many if not all, have attended a vacation in the Italian mountains. Giussani loved these songs, representing the heart of a common life and experience together, music from the war, and of a people.
Sunday night, I got to take the car into Battistini, drive solo for the first time. I remember asking don Jonah, and him telling me to make absolutely certain that I bring back the car in one piece. I was a little nervous at the beginning, it is tricky with the traffic and little hills with a standard transmission. I was to go into the city and meet and have dinner with my friends from DC, Eric and David. We met near the Pantheon and had a nice walk to the Piazza Navona, and surrounding areas. We had a little difficulty trying to find a restaurant in the area, however, we ended up returning to the restaurant where I ate with Marcus and Cleuza when they visited the seminary and gave a presentation back in December. I was happy I had the little restaurant card in my wallet. We had another lovely evening together, getting to learn about all their crazy and wild adventures in Assisi and partaking in the Eucharistic procession from Santa Maria Maggiore to San Giovanni Laterano. We also got to see the Brazilians beat up on the Italians in soccer. They are a very special couple, and inspiring to live a life of holiness together. Am I ever blessed to have been given good friends, who help to reveal the mystery of God’s love for the world.
12. Rafal spent the week of June 22nd to the 26th at the house of formation as a time of repose following his university program. This week also coincided with the first week of manual work around the house, painting and preparing rooms for the incoming seminarians, as well as a lot of work and projects that don’t get done during the year (throwing out old books, moving boxes of movies and books from room to room). I had a lot of fun hosting Raf during the week, was a little bit nervous about the amount of time and attention I could afford to give him, in light of the proposed work and daily life at the house of formation. However, he quickly settled into the more tranquil environment and told me he thought the week was exactly what he needed, a little retreat and time of quiet and stillness, hard to believe Raf would like something like that, JJ. We were able to pray the rosary a couple of times together, sit and read in the sun in the park, drink some beers over a couple of soccer games, go to the beach for an afternoon and have him ride shotgun. I was happy that he got to meet many of my friends, and see the life that I am living and the type of priestly vocation that I am discerning and in front of. He was a real protagonist during the week, getting to know many of the priests and fellow seminarians, it is in his blood, his ability to talk soccer and critique the Italians, his knowledge of Italian history and politics. It was great to see him dialogue with the guys. Raf would leave for Poland early Friday morning, catching a ride with Cristof to the airport who was flying to Jerusalem. I was excited to give his a rosary before leaving early Friday morning, and having him read Wendell Berry’s book, I think I may have him hooked. The meals we had together, especially the early morning breakfast on the last day, banging on his door to get him up for Mass, and other little things. Great week together.
To end off, I want to express a profound sentiment of gratitude for everything I lived during this year, and for all those people who have accompanied me along the way. Your emails, messages, letters and discussions on the phone were a sure blessing for me during the year. Thanks for the prayers, and thoughts and other gestures towards me and my discernment of this path for my life. I hope that these words and reflections, judgments have been a help at giving one a glimpse at everything I am living, and what is in front of me, the type of life and path that I am being asked to consider as a way of life, happiness, friendship and to build the Church.
We are truly Together on the Road,
JR
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