Witness for the Month of February

Witness for the Month of February

John Roderick

February is always a very interesting time of the year since the begins with my little brother’s birthday, which is always a time of reflection, a time of gratitude when I realize more and more the beauty and wonder of the gift my parents have given me. Special thanks to mom and dad. This year, like years in the past, I had the opportunity to realize more profoundly the giftedness of my brother, and my other siblings and lovely parents. The growth in understanding is a result of me being in Rome, at the house of formation with the Fraternity of San Carlo Borromeo. I am becoming aware that distance is not an obstacle to love, but in a sense the path to a richer perspective on the meaning of what constitutes man, and his mission, that is to love another and form a community. Although my thoughts are deeply informed by my education experiences, and personal experience being away this year. I do believe that there is a universal character to them. This all stems from my being away from family, friends, and a world which I would call home, and being asked, or led to a new place, a new land, family, friends and culture, to live my life and grow in a new community. Amongst the confusion and occasional uncertainty of what God is orchestrating for my life, nostalgia sometimes returns, however I always am returned to the positivity of life, of everything around me, the new family, friends, and culture as the path God is asking me to walk, always with Him, all of these being the concreteness where God has chosen for me to meet him. Our task is always a response to who, what and where we are given to live. At the same time, there is a profound unity in the history of my life. Being introduced to the world within the context of the Roderick home, has given me the foundation that I can and ought to live a full life, a life of adventure and play, or worship and togetherness. I often remember of the times my father would take me to the summer home with my brother, and introduce us to the world of nature, and to the rich history of our family. What I want to say, is that the experience of a loving father, and a loving mother, my experience of sonship and being a brother has enabled me to live more fully these days, and consequently to grow in my love and gratitude for their great gift of friendship to me, and to the world. Moreover, to understand all of this in light of the notion of virginity, virginity not understood as a renunciation of physical intimacy with women, but as a great “yes” to the possibility of a greater and more fuller love. A love that is fully informed with the nature of the giftedness of the human person and their ultimate destiny in Christ. A participation in Jesus’ way of looking and possessing reality and his friends, that is, with the recognition that they are created for someone utterly beyond what man is able to give alone. The fullness of love carries within it a virginal character, a possession from a distance, since it recognizes that love is not a matter of power, control and manipulation, but one of wonder, gift and distance. However, in a paradoxical manner, love also carried within its nature a spousal character since love properly understand is informed by “otherness”, an other who is not “I”, and an openness to a third, an other, all love is required to be fruitful, it is not love, and there is no genuine unity without the openness to the other and often when this factor is lacking or misunderstood, friendships often are reduced to a matter of utility. And to participate in the education of the world, to the full awareness of who man is, and the world as the playground which God has given man to come to a fuller understanding of himself and of his Creator.

After all that, it is time to break it down, that is, to highlight some of the exciting events that were lived during the month of February. In no particular order they include: 1) Calling my best friend Joe Trainor, and getting caught a couple of hours before the Superbowl, 2) Completing the first set of final exams at the Lateran University, 3) Running with Paolo Sottopietra, and Giovanni Mussazi, 4) Driving don Massimo to the airport before prof. Basti’s exam, 5) Don Massimo Camisasca’s new book on Luigi Giussani, 6)Weekend with Jonah, Corbelli, Tagliafarri, Benetti, and Pagabones at Porciano, 7) Sperare nell’Amore Conference at the John Paul II Institute, 8) Intervention at the house meeting, 9) Weekend choir practice with Roberto Brambilla from the Communion and Liberation choir, 10) Mass at the Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem for don Giussani, 11) Lenten retreat, 12) Preparing the park for the weekly Way of the Cross, 13) Reading books by Guardini and Mauriac, 14) Preparing for the Giornata Missionaria with PPL, Paolo Pietriolungo, 15) Preparing for Boiardi’s send off to the Navicella to work for the Secretary of State.

1. Superbowl Sunday in Italy, well, what a change from the previous year watching the gave with the boys from Saint John, and eating chilly and drinking Moosehead beer. This year afforded me the opportunity to be reminded of the joy I have watching the game with the boys, as well, to learn that the Superbowl is not a complete foreign concept to Italians. I remember one Saturday afternoon during Caritativa at the Magliana, seeing a preview for the game which was going to be broadcasted on the RAI UNO, I was pretty surprised to see the highlights of the Steelers and the Cardinals conference winning games. The game was to start at 12:30am Monday morning Roman time. I had been in touch with Joe Trainor a couple weeks prior, and called and talked to Michelle, and she told me that Joe would definitely be home Sunday for the game. I called Joe in Saskatoon before going to bed early, in order to get up and watch the game. It was great to catch up and share what I have been living here at the house of formation with the Fraternity of San Carlo. He even expressed interest in coming to see me here in Rome. We have been good friends for a long time, I remember playing soccer together throughout middle school, and really becoming close throughout high school. We still make the best of our opportunities to be in touch. I am happy to be able to share my camino and journey discerning the possibility of becoming a missionary priest. Having one who knows my history, and family is a great help, almost enables one to be more free when expressing how things are, and what they can be compared to.

2. During the first two weeks of February, all the seminarians were busy studying and preparing for our winter examinations. I had two orals, Metaphysics and Philosophical Anthropology, and one written, Logic. All went well, and among the guys in first year, we became more aware of the importance of studying and working together. It is a much more enjoyable experience working and explaining philosophy as a group, then as individuals, especially for the oral exams. I remember not having studied a particular question dealing with the myths in Plato, something we did not specifically review in the lessons, but when it came up I was able to explain the myths regarding the afterlife, since I heard Matteini reviewing it the night before. Some of the boys have got an incredible memory, almost memorizing twenty to thirty pages of notes verbatim. I on the other hand, I understand the main concepts and can put the pieces together, but had great difficulty keeping up to par. Overall, the exams went well, I am still not convinced about the character of oral exams, but I am sure it will grow on me.

3. February proved to be a great month for running, the days were getting progressively longer, and the mornings warmer and early evenings. As I am writing, it is light out and after 6:30pm. Well, what I want to highlight is that I had a nice time getting to know Paolo Sottopietra, who is the Vicar General for the Fraternity, one Sunday afternoon running following the listening of the Angelus on the radio. I have been getting into the habit of making sure I am near my bedroom at five to twelve to catch the Papal Audience. Well, running with Paolo was great since I was able to reveal a little bit of my story, the key events and people that helped me decide to come to Rome last spring, and how during that time, I saw a real possibility for my life. My experience meeting John Zucchi in Antigonish, and beginning to follow the school of Community in Washington. I enjoyed our time together, since he also shared about the recent meetings with the heads of the houses of the Fraternity in Europe. Some of the areas the Fraternity wants to particularly focus on in its parish missions. Giovanni Mussazi, is a young priest from the Milano area, and is an actual hardcore runner. I have taking a real liking to him, and we have gone running in the countryside close to a dozen times. Before we begin, we always say Per Nostri Peccati, for our sins. It is a little prayer. We run to place called Lago di Sole, which is an artificial pond, but nearby is a huge black dog. Mussazi loves animals, I always tease him when he brings treats to the dogs, calling him Francesco, like Francis of Assisi. He literally talks to the dogs, well, in a certain way. We stop for almost every four legged creature on the trail. It can become a little annoying since it breaks up the flow of the run, but I have learned to enjoy this part of his character. I want to enjoy his presence for who he is, with the gaze of Christ, and not see our friendship as merely what is good for me, or what do I get out of it. It is neat to have to change the way we look and understand another. This has been an ongoing theme for the year for me, learning to love the other as other, and not as someone who particularly fulfils what I am lacking, but as a good in itself.

4. On the way to Prof. Basti’s exam friday morning, we took don Massimo and don Mimmo to the airport. They were to fly to Milan for an interview on don Massimo’s new book on the life of don Giussani, and his works. Well in the car on the way to the airport, don Massimo was hilarious, cracking jokes left, right and center. I had never seen him so playful and full of life. I imagine the stress and anxiety with the book on don Giussani was a major relief. I also saw the real possibility of paternity, how he lives this concretely with the many of us in first year. He teased Corbelli a little bit, saying that the only thing he should be uncertain about is whether he will get 30, or 30 and Lode on the exam. We all laughed. He also had a copy of the new book available for us to peruse during the fifteen minute ride to the airport. I was pretty excited to get into the new book.

5. Reading don Massimo’s new book on the life of don Luigi Giussani was great. I real affirmation of what I am looking for from the Fraternity of San Carlo. Reading the synthesis of Giussani’s entire opus, made me realize the profoundness of this man’s work, and emphasis on education. Stirred up a real desire to stop what I am doing, and find a school that would hire me immediately. The book is full, well, packed with very important insights into this man’s thinking, and mission. The publicity for the book was outrageous, on our bulletin board alone, there must have been 15- 20 articles from all the major news sources in Italy. It was the first time that this type of work was completed, and with the number and influence that Communion and Liberation has in Italy. It was necessary. It was wild seeing them go up, one after the other. Don Massimo went to Paris with Invernizzi for week during all the writing of the articles.

6.The weekend at Porciano following the completion of exams was a wonderful experience of brotherhood and of staying together. We arrived late Friday evening, and I remember being a little bit frustrated because the nature of the conversation throughout the night seemed to be always on topics and themes that I knew little or nothing about. I remember trying to follow the discussion and being frustrated that all I could do was sit and be present. I find these times difficult when I cannot physically contribute or follow or participate in the way in which I want. I went to bed before the others, feeling a little bit tired and wanting to start fresh on Saturday. Umberto rose early and got the fire roaring, it did not stop from the time we arrived Friday after cena till the time we left for home Sunday evening. A couple of the things that stood out were an article by Cardinal Caffara on the Eluana situation, where he raised the question about the state’s ability to intervene and stop the charitable work of the religious sisters who had taken care of Eluana for many years. Sitting and reading around the fireplace, virtually all day Saturday and a good part of the day Sunday. The weekend was to be a weekend of repose following the exams and long semester. I lent Jonah the book by Wendell Berry, and he read it throughout the weekend finishing it on Sunday. I was happy to be with him, and having him read a book I was given by the family. I read the series of papers that were given at the John Paul II Institute 25th Anniversary conference held in Rome in May of 2006. What a treat it was to revisit the papers that were given, and the chance to read them in Italian. Lots of good memories were had, and I was able to share a little bit about the Knights of Columbus and the work of the John Paul II Institute. The meals together, and the common work taking care of the country home. It was great to work together during these days, we each took turns preparing and helping out with the meals, setting the table, bringing in firewood, sweeping and keeping the place tidy. The time together helped me to better realize of what a common life in the house is like, it was a very positive experience. Jonah, Benetti and I went for a long walk Saturday afternoon, ended being close to three hours. We walked along the road, trails, and across a couple fields and running streams. It was a very interesting experience, since we were both following Jonah, and at times it seemed like he had forgotten the direction or path. However, I remember thinking to myself that it is good to follow, and that I know where my destiny is going to be, I do not necessary know the path, or who or what I am going to meet along the way, but the promise of a destiny is the same wherever one is. I enjoyed having these thoughts and trusting and following knowing that God is ultimately leading me. We ate an incredible meal Sunday for pranzo, I was out for a little walk trying to get some air, and when I arrived the meat that was cooked over hot coals in the fireplace was ready to be eaten. Along with the incredible quantity of meat, was very tasty cheeses, delicious breads, and lots of wine. We say around the house that Christianity happens around the dining table, il cristianesimo accada al tavola. On Sunday, I also remember going for a walk during the afternoon, visiting our neighbours grapevines and olive trees. I enjoyed this time of silence, for it helped me to better understand what I had lived during the weekend. It was a very good weekend. On the way home, I remember that Jonah was on the phone with his parents back in the United States, and him talking with A. Walker, who would come for dinner at the house on Tuesday evening. Jonah and I also went for a drive together Sunday morning, to get the newspapers, on the way back we stopped and looked for a church of a community of people who have had drinking problems. It was incredible the work that these men had done, the stone work, the paths all built by hand. That is something I am becoming more and more appreciative of, that is the Italians connection to the earth, to the land, especially in the little villages that exist in every nick and cranny in Italy. Jonah also showed us a possible location for the future house for retired priests, a run down old building near where the house in porciano.

7. Sperare nell’Amore, I first learned about this conference held at the John Paul II Institute in the fall, when I walked in and introduced myself to the secretary. Funny how it is, but I immediately spotted the candy in the secretaries office. A chip of the ol’ block. I remember being excited that Papa Schindler was on the list of speakers, who was going to speak on the nature of culture, and hope in America. In January I showed the conference flyer to Jonah and asked for permission to attend, after speaking with don Massimo, the permission was given, and he even hinted that he would like to attend with me, and possibility organize a lunch for Schindler. The conference ran the first week of classes, which I was a little nervous to miss, since I had to ask the dean of philosophy for permission. I remember that I asked him for permission immediately before having the oral exam. I was thrilled that I was going to have a chance to revisit the material, and spend with the week within an academic culture that I am passionate about. Unfortunately Schindler was not able to attend due to health problems, however, Jose Noriega would take his place among the visiting professors, Peter Schallenberg –from Germany who spoke on Ethics, how Logos precedes Ethos, and a biblist from Milan who proposed that the Canticle of Canticles is the source of all the Scriptures, reading it not merely as an allegory but penetrating the literary character reveals that the text dates to time preceding the writing of all other Scriptures. Very interesting, how the nuptial relationship is at the heart of the matter, well, the heart of the Word. I met many wonderful people during the brief week of classes, a couple of Americans who study at the North American College, an American woman who is a pschycologist living and working in Cyprus, a religious sister from the States, many priests from Africa and South America. One priest mentioned his friendship with a Canadian missionary in Cameron. I was thrilled about his passion and enthusiasm for the Church in Canada. As well, the division of the Church in Africa, well at least among the countries. I remember talking about the upcoming Papal trip to Africa, and one priest mentioned that he was not really coming to Africa but to these two countries in Particular. There is a Canadian student studying in Rome at the Institute, and Emily from Quebec, friend of Cardinal Ouellet, however, I was not able to meet her, she had broken her ankle the week preceding the conference.

9. The weekend choir practice was fantastic. My initial impressions when I saw that we were going to be having choir practice all weekend, were a little pessimistic. I had thought that they were going to be the same ol’ practice we do ten to fifteen minutes prior to Mass every evening. However, for this weekend’s occasion, a dear friend of don Massimo and the Fraternity, Roberto Brambilla was to come and actually teach us how to sing and enter more fully into the act of praying. Seeing the words of the songs as an icon by which to see and contemplate the Mystery. This phrase has stood with me since the weekend. It was a little funny to see where we actually are at, considering the level, I even thought we were a lot better than we actually are. The judgment must come from one who has an ear, one who is an authority. Roberto has sung with the Communion and Liberation choir for close to twenty years, and had the experience of following Giussani’s teaching and constant emphasis on the grandeur of I canti. It was great to follow an authority, who called a spade a spade, and really help to reveal what we are actually doing when we pray the psalms during the hours of the days, and the attention and precision they require. It is a real work learning to pray. He also met with the first years in particular to introduce us more thoroughly into the music of the movement, and how the movement sings. We each got turns leading, and directing in front of our brothers. The boys gave a hard time, a little, even Roberto commented on it, but overall a wonderful weekend.

10. The memorial Mass for don Luigi Giussani was awesome, just a little note, our friend Tarcisio who was with us for a month, was very pleasant to have around the house. A former politician who is now retired and a great friend of the Fraternity. Well, I remember piling into the pulmino, after vespers, and leaving for Basilica Santa Croce in Gerusaleme, the location where I stayed during the pilgrimage to Rome with the youth of the diocese of Saint John, spring 2008. The Church is not very big, when we arrived the area in front of the Church was already packed with cars, and people waiting out front. It is a CL tradition not to enter the Church before the last available minute before the beginning of Mass, to smoke and chat. The boys who were in the van together with me, crawled to the front of the mob of people and squeezed our way into the Church. We got seats together, Umberto and I, however, Umbe gave his up, and the mother and child I offered my seat to refused for another spot. I remember that I got to sit beside a mother and daughter who were both older than my own mother, and the mother was a little bit disabled, but probably the happiest person in the church. As the Mass began, I remember thinking to myself that, wow, I am part of something huge. It was great to see the many priests process into the Church, the priests of the Fraternity led by the seminarians who responsible for the liturgical service. The music was very special for me, singing in a packed church the songs of the movement was a moving experience. I remember afterward that I was able to see a couple of the students from the Sapienza University who accompany us to Caritativa, (Sofia and Martina, Luigi). The homily mainly focused on the scriptures, and after the Mass the responsible for Rome spoke about Communion and Liberation. Coming home, we all ate together including our Superiors, I got to sit with don Massimo, and Andrea D’Auria, my spiritual director, and mentioned a couple of interesting points about Guardini’s Th Spirit of the Liturgy to Sottopietra. Overall, I was thrilled by the experience.

11. Lenten retreat with don Massimo on Ash Wednesday and Mass at the Navicella, our parish in Rome, and where the Institute students had Mass with Antonio during the Conference. The main theme of the Lenten retreat was entering into the measure of Another, and learning to loosen the tight grip we have on our own measure for our lives. That we want to give Christ everything except the part that is the measure, the criterion of our lives. An emphasis was placed on the importance of fasting, highlighting the Holy Father’s Lenter letter, as well, as almsgiving and prayer as the unique path to enter into this new measure. Through these aids, we learn to place our own measure in the tomb with Christ, in order to receive our own measure renewed and taken up along with His. He never takes anything away from us, that is true and beautiful. He highlighted the story of Abraham as being a prime example of one who was able to enter into God’s measure for his life, of having to leave everything that was comfortable and go into the desert for 40 years. Don Massimo talked a lot about the importance of the 40 days Jesus fasted in the desert and the temptations he had to struggle with. All of this being a preparation for his divine mission. How the kingdom of God is a kingdom of silence and one of listening, Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that is spoken from the mouth of God. The priority of listening, and being still and silent. The retreat was packed, lots of food for thought for the next 40 days.